Learning is Misunderestimated.

Haiti

2010-01-14T01:10:00.001-05:00

Watching the devastation of events like the earthquake in Haiti reminds me of the stories I will potentially have to cover in the near future. It is harrowing to think that amongst the injured and homeless that there is a story to be told. It is also a bold recognition of the people's need-to-know mentality in society today. Without reporters on the ground, we would have no images, no stories, no tangible evidence of this extraordinary event.

To some, it may seem heartless to walk through the streets of Port Au Prince tonight with a camera and a microphone. But to me, it is necessary. These are people whose needs are great and supplies are slim. These are people whose homes have been lost, whose families have been fractured, and whose world has come crashing down. These are stories that need to be told to as many as possible.

I cringe when I see the footage on CNN of dead bodies laying on the side of the road, but I also feel a sense of purpose, knowing that I have made the right decision in my choice of career. I want to tell these stories.

It is cynical to say that more disasters will come, but we all know that it is true. We can only hope that our response is strong, well-guided, and swift. When those disasters come, I hope to be able to tell the stories of those people caught within them. That is the nature of journalism, and I will take up that challenge with no restraint, ensuring that I do all I can to convey the true nature of events and the full weight of human sorrow.

The pictures will continue to come from Haiti for the weeks and months to come, just as they came from New Orleans some time ago. When they do, take time to cherish what you have, what you one day may achieve, and how lucky we are to live where we do now.

Text HAITI to 90999 to donate $10 to the Red Cross and its international aid fund.

Stuff My Kids Should Know: The Beginning

2010-01-12T13:19:00.000-05:00

I've decided to start a new segment on the blog called "Stuff My Kid Should Know". The idea is fairly simple and obvious but I'll lay it out for you because it takes up inches: From time to time I will post stories, facts, or other random tidbits that my future children should know. Sometimes it may be a link, other times it could be a whole story; it really depends on that given tidbit.

Sound cool? No? Well shove it, 'cuz I'm doing it anyway.

Also, just to clear this up before it becomes a thing, no, I do not have any children. Please don't get concerned about that.

Since this is our first installment, we'll start out simple...

Hey kid, how are ya? Unfortunately for you, I'm your dad. I always knew this day was coming, so I figured I'd keep a list of things you should know about. Today I figured we could talk about who was almost president. Right now our president is Barack Obama, but it was almost John McCain. And since he's just about ready to keel over faster than a teenager watching "2 Girls 1 Cup", his running mate, Sarah Palin would've assumed the presidency.

You know how you put all those shapes in the right order on that puzzle the other day? Yeah, I'd be surprised if she could do that. She isn't wise, is basically what I'm getting at here.

Yesterday she became a commentator for Fox News, which isn't really a new channel (but that's neither here nor there). This is massively exciting for sane people, little kiddie, because it means all the stupid stuff she says will be forever on videotape and the internet. It also basically rules her out of having any chance at trying to be president in 2012. That is why I am rejoicing today, and you should now as you read this.

Because that, my kid who isn't yet born, is something you should know.

An Ode to Nameless Church Ladies

2010-01-07T01:28:00.000-05:00

I can never remember her name. Or hers. Or hers. And sometimes I forget his too. I speak, of course, of the people who know you that you don't know.

It happens in a lot of different ways. For myself, it was a widely published local column (I swear that isn't actually an oxymoron). For others it could be a well-known parent or a successful athletic career in high school. No matter the way it happens, it always feels like more people know you than you know of.

At times, this phenomenon has proven to be extremely awkward; at others it has proven beneficial in helping connect to people or get things done. Sometimes it's just plain fun.

But the people I have this problem with most are the nameless church ladies. They aren't nameless of course, they do all have names (and fantastic ones I'm sure). But ever since I left for college two and a half years ago, I have struggled to maintain the name-remembering skills of my high school days.

Faces, sure, I can do those. I always recognize them as they approach. Names? Not so much.

"Hey Rob, welcome back." (This means they know I was in London... or maybe just at Ithaca. Doesn't narrow down much.)

"How was England?" (Okay, that one helps a bit more. The key here is to figure out who provided the information, and then link from there.)

"I hear you've been doing some pretty amazing things." (Yea, that came from my mom. So that narrows it down... oh... not at all, considering she works at the church and knows everyone.)

I think you can see where this is going. The more time I've spent away from home the less names I can recall, yet the more faces I remember. It is a completely evil situation, and one that I certainly do not wish upon anyone (except Bin Laden, natch).

[Puts on deep announcer voice] So here's to you, nameless church lady. Thanks to you I feel guilty for not remembering your name. Keep up the good work.

Enjoy the BCS Sham-pionship tomorrow night (I made that up all by myself! Mom says I'm a big kid now!).

100th Post Party!

2010-01-05T02:03:00.000-05:00

Whoo! 100 posts! Whooooooo! Break out the drinks! Let's hit up the boozengaarden to celebrate!

...And by let's, which is "let us", I mean you.

How am I celebrating? With the following video, which I helped out with about seven or eight months ago and honestly completely forgot about until it popped up online just the other day. Check out the other videos on the site too, they're pretty funny.

So here's to my blog hitting the century mark, hopefully you'll enjoy this short clip...

Tug from Avenger_Comedy on Vimeo.

Go enjoy Sherlock Holmes like I did this afternoon. Or you could see the Squeakquel. I guess it's kind of a wash.

Resolutions

2010-01-02T01:42:00.000-05:00

I didn't resolve anything this year. No weight loss on the horizon or book reading in my future. At least, not because of resolutions.

I don't think people need resolutions. To be fair, maybe some people do. But it shouldn't take a day on the calendar to remind us of who we should be; we should just do it. (Damn it, Nike. The check is in the mail.)

I feel that resolutions are really excuses. If we fail, we just push it back a year. Or two. Or a decade. Small decisions become life-deciding ones, and the whole world keeps on spinnin'.

But we lose something in that small concession. We lose a piece of humanity I think. The world slowly chips away at us and over time we just sit along for the ride.

Let's buck that concession. Let's keep that extra piece of sanity. And let's stop making excuses.

We are what we are. Am I perfect? Not in a million years. But neither are you. (I'll let that sink in for a minute... okay.) Why can't we all admit that and move forward, together, as one?

In 2010, let's check the egos at the door. The excuses at the door. And the posturing, let's leave that outside as well. It's the start of a new decade (even though it technically isn't, which is an argument for another time) so what better time is there to read that book or shed those pounds?

3 Doors Down once wrote a song called Live for Today and in a column at the time I called its lyrics inspirational. I think they still are, so Google it and see what I mean.

For now, watch out twentyten, I got this.

Enjoy the Eagles and those new pajamas.

Seeing London

2009-12-30T12:16:00.004-05:00

The station felt like it was empty, probably because it was. I was alone, surveying the empty track that would soon provide me a short ride to the next station on the line. That next station would be the end.

Not the end of my journey on that specific day, for I would have to return to my flat eventually, but to a personal vendetta I had against myself. Or so it would seem.

Everyone wanted to go somewhere for fall break, including myself. When we arrived in London we all had grand visions of sandy (potentially topless) beaches, real Italian dinners or nights under the Eiffel Tower lights. However, the sad truth of reality soon set in, which meant a rush for discount tickets, extra cheap accommodations and maybe, just maybe, the chance to still see some of those topless beaches.

It became apparent very quickly that I would not be going anywhere for fall break. I simply didn’t have the funds. At first I sulked, like all good college students do, but then I took it as an opportunity, a challenge even. A chance to do something no one else could say they had done when they went home for winter break.

And it is with that notion that I set out on what would be a 28 hour journey over the course of three days. I wanted to go to every underground Tube station in London’s Zones 1 and 2. I wanted to leave every station to take a photo to prove I was there. To whom was I proving this? I wasn’t quite sure, but I knew I wanted to prove it anyway.

At the starting point, Marble Arch, my home station, it was awkward. I was using my cell phone from the States as my camera because I don’t own a real one. I had a backpack on and lots of layers because it was a little chilly. I stopped outside the main entrance and did my best version of a MySpace self-picture pose. I was very aware of the eyes around me, staring down the weird kid with the beard and baseball cap. This was going to be interesting.

Five stops later, I was wearing half as many layers, rocking a set of headphones and in the zone, now aware my task was becoming quite the mission. To finish 154 stations (every one in the first two zones except Blackfriars which is closed until 2011) would take much longer than previously anticipated. I also went in without much of a plan; just a tube map to cross off each station on and a notebook to keep track of time. Two hours went by. Then four. It was past lunch time, so I snacked on some chips and kept on going. Underground it was like time stood still. I could travel from station to station, exit, snap a picture and get back onto the tube generally before the next train had even come. I cut out an hour each day by walking up and down the escalators. I became a professional at something few would ever want to be a professional at. Train riding should be listed on my next CV.

After my first day I’d completed 45 stations. I had to retrace stations a few times, which wasn’t very efficient, so I rethought my lack of a plan and decided to make one. I split London into my own set of zones- Northeast (which I covered the first day), Southeast, and West. There weren’t enough lines west of London to split it easily.

Day two took me to the Southeast, including the Docklands Light Rail, or DLR. Ten hours. 73 stations. In the words of, well, I don’t know who said it actually, I made the London Underground my personal play toy. I owned it. It became clear my mission could potentially be completed. And by day three, it was.

Another 36 stations and eight hours clinched the trek. As I snapped my final photo and dusk set in over London, my phone rang. It was my girlfriend.

“Hey, Dublin and Brussels were amazing! Berlin is good so far too! What have you been up to?”

“Nothing really.”

I took a look around at a section of city I will probably never see again. Then, I walked back down to the trains.

Looking back I can finally understand the point of my journey. Ever since I was tripping over my OshKosh overalls I’ve loved a good story. It’s why I am a journalist, or at least trying to be one. Exceptional stories are the ones that don’t make the front page headlines; they’re the ones all around us. Like a divorced mom raising two kids while getting another degree at 50; a sister trying to make the high school bowling team; a first date, first kiss, first love. These are the stories that we love telling but seldom hear. The stories that are timeless. The stories of our lives.

Just like the kid that spent 30 hours on a train simply because he could.

I'm Back!

2009-12-19T08:12:00.002-05:00

I've migrated back to this blog from my Ithacan blog that I worked on this fall. It was challenging to write three posts a week and I feel like at times it also caused my content to suffer. Over the next few weeks I'll be posting back here again, but in the mean time check out a video of something I did over break:

I'll have a wrap up on this video posted soon.

Enjoy long flights and Christmas lights.

Ithacan Link

2009-09-01T10:35:00.001-04:00

Hey all,

My blog will be at this site (http://theithacan.org/blogs/londoncalling/) for the length of the fall.

Enjoy.

London Calling

2009-08-22T21:56:00.002-04:00

Most generic blog post title ever. Hackneyed, unoriginal, basically the same as every movie and TV plot from the last six years.

I leave for London on Monday, which is presently why I am writing this. The plan is to be up and running for The Ithacan as soon as possible, but I plan to remain loyal to my Twitter as well. In fact, there is some potential out there for some video blogs to start cropping their way up here and on YouTube.

Why?

Because sometimes talking is a helluva lot easier than writing all of this.

Until then, enjoy the Phillies once more. And in-flight movies.

Post-Trip Thoughts and Big Announcement

2009-08-01T20:03:00.003-04:00

Heyo!

Been back from the Bahamers for a week now and still feel the drag that wants to pull me right back. Unfortunately the pull wasn't as strong as the work pull which had me back to giving tours by Monday morning.

Haven't gotten a chance to work a ton on our full video from the trip but I have finally compiled and labeled all of the footage so I'm making progress. Also, I have a decent idea of where I'm going with it so once I get some time to sit down and crank it out it shouldn't be too bad.

Two things:

1. What sort of special features are people looking for on the DVD?

2. I hope you have all taken the chance to go back through and read comments people left and reflect on the trip we took. It was pretty awesome, no?

Anyways, some relatively big news for me from the blog side of things...

This fall I will be writing a column for The Ithacan from London. It will be published every other week for a total of 7 times and will be published both online and in print.

I will also be blogging for The Ithacan around four times a week while I am in London this fall.

The details from all of this still needs to be worked out, like what URLs will be and what topics I will cover, but expect my writing to be fairly similar to what I do here: Lots of observations and thoughts on life with some humor sprinkled in. Basically, the only difference will be that my columns will actually be making a point as well. Points are something I generally avoid when I write because I think if you get my writing the points I am trying to make are obvious enough, but this fall I'll be sure to accent them just a little bit more.

I'm really excited to take on this endeavor from the UK and I hope you'll all join me wherever it is I end up on the world wide web. For now, I'll continue to blog here, and when the time comes I will announce more details and descriptions of what's to come.

That's all I've got for now.

Enjoy the Phillies and Dave Matthews.

21

2009-07-25T21:45:00.003-04:00

I feel like Dora the Explorer when I think about this past week:

“We did it. WE DID IT!”

Seriously though, I do.

This was by far the most physically, spiritually and mentally tiring of the five Bahamas trips I have been on. I can’t speak for everyone, obviously because I don’t have 21 mouths, but I can say that for myself it was also the most rewarding.

My head wasn’t in the game when we left last week. I sure thought it was. But alas, God never lets you off the hook that easy.

So many times this week we had to embrace the verse on the back of our t-shirts just to get by. “Live by faith and not by sight”.

Good days turned into rough nights, with rough days turning into good nights. Frustration would mount, but then dissipate just like the water spout that magically appeared on Day 1 and disappeared just as quickly. To me that was the true miracle of this trip.

So now we are all home. We will potentially never reassemble the same group of 21 ever again. In a sense, it should be that way. We have an experience that no one can take away from any of us; an experience that we formed together. While small groups of us will meet and discuss the merit of a well-built garden or a quickly killed centipede, nothing will ever surpass the sensation of our last night together. To me, that’s how it should be.

Here’s to the 21 that alone could only act as ordinary people but together were a team that exceeded expectations, built up hope along with gardens, and planted many seeds to be sown in the coming years.

We certainly raised the stakes this year. 20 gardens. 4 roofs. 6 houses painted. And one village changed forever. Sometimes raising the stakes causes you to bust. But not for us. We raised up to the challenge and conquered it.

Now all the cards are now on the table. No more surprises. No more rainstorms. No more trips to the Home Centre. We all know how it went and have the special memories ingrained in our brain. The memory of 21 pieces to the puzzle. All different and special in their own way. But what happened when they all came together- that was the amazing part.

Blackjack. This time the House of God wins.

My first video essay on the trip can be found HERE. Some of the shots are a little out of order, which annoys me, but it'll have to do for now. In the immortal words of Babe's owner: "That'll do, pig. That'll do."

Wowza

2009-07-24T07:24:00.001-04:00

Wow!

What a day!

No, really, what an awesome day! Only the Team Awesome from Woodside could exceed expectations and complete almost all of their jobs for the week with one day still to go! Awesome!

Everyone really clicked today and the whole neighborhood is now abuzz for tomorrow’s grand finale, the unveiling and planting of our gardens. Rumor has it that we have completed 20 brand new 4x8 gardens for the families living in this settlement, so planting them will certainly be a blessing to all those around them.

To reward our team, the plan is to take the afternoon off, go to the beach, or just take a nice nap. This week has certainly been the most tiring of all the trips I have done, and there is some agreement amongst all of us that we have kicked some serious butt once again!

There is so much more we wish we could do, and it is always hard to leave our site for the last time and give our best to the families that have gathered to say goodbye, but tomorrow we will do so knowing we have given them a better life.

And that’s the most important thing of all.

TONIGHT: Our closing ceremonies. Who will pray? Eat? Cry? Hug? We’ll find out soon…

UPDATE: Video Blog is HERE!

Night... umm Morning Blog

2009-07-23T07:21:00.002-04:00

I’m writing this at night, but it won’t be up until morning, so I guess I will just say yesterday instead of today for this post. But bear with me, because it is still today.

Yesterday (today) was a really good day. Everyone hunkered down and busted their backs in the heat and rain and bugs to get done the most work we have all week. I don’t want to ruin the surprise of what we did, but if I said it took us a day and a half to clean out a trash pile that after today has 9 or so lovely gardens inside of it, would you believe me?

Would you believe that in three days we have built 20-22 gardens (I forget), fixed a roof and a drywall ceiling, scraped six houses, primed them, and painted 2? Pretty cool right? (Those numbers might be a little off; my memory fades at this time of night, as does my typing apparently. Thank God for Spell Check.)

Everyone should be immensely proud of their kids and family and friends and what they have accomplished thus far. (That’s Dan’s input for the day. Mr. Supreme Leader is too lazy to actually assist in the blog writing.)

We did also go to church tonight… err… last night. It was a good time. We got to worship with another mission team from Louisiana and a small congregation that really knew how to throw a rocking party. Would you believe the LA team was here the same week as us last summer too? Small world.

So I will leave the blog here for now. The worst injuries this week have been bug bites, so no worries there. The team sends their best, to each and every one of you. When we get home, be sure to let them know how well they did. It isn’t easy for anyone, let alone a high schooler, to step out of their comfort zone and totally put their faith in others and in God. So kudos to everyone for raising such awesome kids. (Except you, mom, you are on my list. Leaving for the Dominican Republic for your own mission trip while I’m still here? How selfish of you!)

Kidding aside, this team rocks.

Back later today with updates. Send your love to the team; we are going to read all of the comments to them on Friday night at our closing ceremony. (Or is it tomorrow night? Oy.)

Enjoy your day, your home, and your family.

UPDATE: I know the FaceBook video isn't doing working too effectively so Dan and I will try YouTube again in a minute... in fact, here he is.

EDIT: New YouTube video is processing... HERE!

Man, I Love Technology!

2009-07-22T22:19:00.003-04:00

Okay, here's tonight's video blog...

Written blog to come in the morning.

TOMORROW: Stupid Thursday, when we are so tired that anything and everything goes wrong. BE READY!

Late!

2009-07-22T07:35:00.001-04:00

Right off the bat I’d like to apologize for the late post (that will show up either late tonight or tomorrow). It is unfortunately extremely time consuming to do all of the normal work and then add in some video equipment, a laptop, a cell phone and all of the other tools necessary for the job we are trying to do. There is literally a dresser drawer in our room (our being me, Nick, Dan and Dan) full of my tech stuff.

Basically, I never wanted to have to do all of this late at night, but it’s the only free time we’ve got.

So a recap-

Today, Team Awesometacular filled more dirt in gardens, finishing scraping the 6 houses or so we are working on, primed and began to paint some of those homes, and spent a lot of time with trash.

And when I say a lot, I mean a lot.

You see, when hurricanes come, they destroy the homes along the ocean. The debris from those homes floats away to the next settlement back, which is where we are working. And then it just sits. So the residents just pile it all up. Sometimes they use what’s in the pile, but they usually just let it grow and add their own stuff over time. Our mission today was to begin moving that pile.

Why?

Well it sure is ugly for one. Two, it is in prime location for more gardens. And three, the way the wires in the village are laid out, there is no way to get a cherry picker in the area unless we move everything to a pile around the other side of a house that isn’t bloced by wires. You can imagine how glamorous this has been for all of us.

We also got rained on today. Twice. Fairly hard both times. But it gave us a good chance to take a break and re energize a little bit, which was well needed.

I speak for pretty much every returning trip member when I say that this is the most tired I have ever been on a Tuesday night of this trip. I have no idea how this will turn out to effect us this week, but when I figure it out I’ll be sure to let you know.

Port Lucaya tonight was also fun. It’s a mix of stores and personal shops right between the hotels on the island and right next to the water. This year it was the most desolate anyone has ever seen it. There are less boats in the marina than in year’s previous and it is much easier to see the complete effects of the global economic question when seeing what it has done here.

We are only one of 5 groups working with Raul this summer. Five, for the entire summer! Last year there were 15 groups here, just to put it into perspective. That’s totally not cool. I mean, let’s be honest, that sucks. We need people here helping build better lives for others. Mr. Yacht-man may not know this section of the Bahamas exists, but we do, and we need to spread the work and word of the Lord as much as we can while we are here.

TOMORROW: Church at night, work in day. It’s a God-fest of God on the menu.

When day one feels like day one billion...

2009-07-20T21:58:00.002-04:00

They never said working was easy, but it certainly is more fun than I remembered.

Work day one was a massive success. We built 10 8’x4’ gardens and began to fill seven of them with dirt. We scraped a bunch of houses and began to prime them, and we even got to hop on a roof for a few minutes. All in a day’s work for Team Awesome from Woodside.

I don’t want to get into too much detail about the goings on of the trip but I will tell you that we only used two band-aids today, only came in contact with fleas, lice and potentially poisonous vines, and had to get off the work site by 3 PM to avoid a massive thunderstorm that featured what Raul likes to call a “water spout”.

First off, Raul is, like yesterday, The Man.

Second, a waterspout is like a tornado, just over water. According to Raul, they always dissipate before hitting land.

…Then, to me, he added, “But with the weather we’ve been getting lately, you never know.”

So we’ve got that going for us.

And now that I have you all really concerned, please do not worry! As I said before, we only used two band-aids today, and I’m pretty sure only a few of us became sunburned.

One casualty of today was my beard, which got covered in pain chips while I was scraping. The only way to get them out was to shave, which is why I now look like I do in the video!

Other than that, fun times all around. Except for the storm, and Dan driving the pickup when the tire treads fell off. And then there was the time with the [REMOVED BY SUPREME LEADER DAN].

Darn. Guess you’ll have to hear about all of that later.

Tomorrow: More dirt, more gardens, but hopefully less facial hair removal.

Enjoy the Fu-Manchu, because I’m totally bringin’ it back.

UPDATE: Video is HERE (once it processes, which is taking far too long).

Day 1 In the Tubes

2009-07-19T21:46:00.001-04:00

Day one is in the bag and that means it’s time for our super duper recap!

I last left you at about 12:30 AM, so let’s go through the timeline from there:

1 AM: Watched Role Models in Dan’s basement while he slept. You don’t really need to know these things, but I really like the movie so I felt obligated to mention it.

2:45 AM: Dan awakes and showers, comes downstairs to discover I never fell asleep, and we had some cereal.

3:15 AM: In the car to Woodside. Bus was on time, which is rare, but well appreciated.

4:30 AM: Arrive at United Airways terminal.

5:15 AM: It is with great pleasure that I discover an Auntie Anne’s across from our gate.

6:45 AM: Two large pretzels, a medium lemonade and some relaxing and chatting later, we board and take off.

7:00 AM: Just kidding. We sit on the runway for 30 minutes.

7:30 AM: We take off.

9:00 AM (or so, we can’t remember): Land in Charlotte. Search for someone in Charlotte really named Charlotte begins. We would never succeed.

10:00 AM: Survivor: Bahamas begins with a bang! Teams pick names and circulate special individual nicknames as well. Our teams this year are the Baja Turtles, The Circle of Life, Holy Hurricanes, and One Missing Dwarf. Creativity from people at Woodside never ceases to amaze me.

11:30 AM: Board plane in Charlotte after procuring special team mascots from shops in Charlotte. (You would not believe how popular the NASCAR Shop in an airport would be, but hey, I also never understood how people driving in circles was anything more than a good thing to watch when attempting to nap).

“About 1:30 PM” (according to Dan): We land in Freeport, where I prove my continued success with choosing the customs agent that gets you through the line faster. Twice. If there were a hall of fame for that sort of thing there would be an entire wing named after me. But there isn’t, so it just remains mostly useless.

1:45 PM: Meet up with Raul, aka The Man when it comes to all thing Bahamas. Drove to Xanadu, which we are cautioned is under renovation. Of course, this place has been under renovation since we started coming five years ago so that’s no big.

2:45 PM: BEACH! Felt like a hot tub. Saltier than a sailor on leave.
4:00 PM: Round 2 of Survivor, the sand castle building competition. I may or may not have been on the winning team. (Hint: I was).

5:00 PM: Quick dip in the pool to wash off our sand and add chlorine to the mix of things stuck in my beard. Then, to dinner at the Feeding Center. Lasagna, salad and beans. Perfect. Drink? Iced Tea. Double Perfect. I missed this town.

6:30 PM: Small groups in our teams to discuss what’s going on with the God side of things. Also time spent designing a team flag and creating a team chant.

7:30 PM: Presentation of chants and flags. Selection of our Secret Servants for the week. Reinvented wheel, sliced bread, and the television. Capped off the night with rookie initiation. Why do I not say more? Because I am bound to remain silent based on the Code of Mission Trip Ethics, Bylaw 65, Part 2, Section 7, Line 6. Seriously, if you knew what we did, we’d have to complain to each other about the fact that you knew what we did.

9:00 PM: Free time. The team bonds with a beach ball, some laughs, and some snacks. If you were wondering, Dan M.’s perfect Saturday includes waking up at “like 1 PM”, going over to RJ’s in Yardley and getting some sort of sandwich, playing tennis later in the day, and then going out with his friends.

10:00 PM: Back to the rooms.

11:00 PM: Lights out.

Give us some comments and let us know what you guys want to know about the trip. I hope this is a good synopsis of the most definitely epic Day 1 in the Bahamers. (I like to call them the Bahamers sometimes, as in “baham-ER-s”, just because we say where we are so often.

For now, enjoy the Phillies; I hear they had another nice win today.

Tomorrow: Day 1 of work. We go in blind. Come out even more confused than when we started. And probably break some stuff.

EDIT: FIRST VIDEO BLOG! CLICK HERE!

A Little Bit Closer Now...

2009-07-18T23:45:00.005-04:00

It's zeroing in on midnight, putting us extremely close to the 3:30 AM departure time. I know earlier I teased a possible appearance from Dan tonight, but he's asleep.

Why am I not asleep? I'm a college student, duh. Sleep for me on a Saturday night starts at 3:30 AM. So as much as I know I'll be regretting the lack of sleep come tomorrow, I'm sure that for now I've made the right decision.

I feel like I should explain what this trip is all about for those who don't know. This is the 5th year Woodside Presbyterian has taken a group of high school students to Grand Bahama Island. A vacation? Not really, but the trip does have its perks. Our hotel is Xanadu, once owned by Howard Hughes and rumored to be the place at which he passed away. Of course, it's gone a little downhill since then, as has much of the Freeport area.

Once you get over the big hotels and docks for cruise ships, the million dollar yachts and well decorated beaches, you find poverty, destruction and an overwhelming level of what can only be described as a deflated sense of place and position.

It is here that we do our work; we aren't going to be able to rebuild the island forever, but we can bring it hope. With each house we paint or roof we repair, we gain the smiles and appreciation of those in the neighborhoods we visit for one week a summer. Sometimes that appreciation is shown, and sometimes it isn't, but what is most important is that we are able to make life just that little bit better.

Five years ago, sixteen brave souls from Woodside ventured into unknown territory, attempting to redefine what one group of people can do for another. Now, our group may be similar in size, but we are varied in experience. We have veterans, some of five years and some of one. We have some new members, who will come to learn the ways of the islands and do things they never expected to be able to do. It is the job of the experienced to help mentor the newer members of the trip, but I feel like we can also learn from them as well. There is a wide eyed readiness in the newer members to the trip that I sometimes wish I had back. And I will be spending all week trying to learn from them and finding what they help bring to our special team.

Enjoy the chance to sleep in tomorrow. There are some of us who will be jealous.

PS- Just got my shirt and apparently I didn't get the memo that we were going camo. I can't wait for the stares in the airports tomorrow!

Bahamas: The PreGame Show

2009-07-18T11:30:00.006-04:00

Alright, getting the packing done here in Ithaca to prepare and jet set down to Freeport.

The plan is to head home with mom this afternoon, then spend a few hours on Dan's couch in preparation for our 3 AM departure. Yea, 3 AM. Awesome.

I'm excited to use this blog to give you all a better idea of what we are doing down in the Bahamas for the next week. My one concern is that all of this Tweeting and blogging won't work, which, let's be honest, would suck a little bit. So here's to high hopes.

If you don't know me, hey! I'm Rob. I'm prepping for my junior year up here at Ithaca College and taking my 5th trip down to the Bahamas this summer. It's been a treat to have experienced this journey from the beginning, and every year fewer people can say they've been through it all. The most amazing thing to me is how I keep accidentally ending up on this trip.

You see, I tried to stop going two years ago. But last summer, I got a call from Dan about someone dropping out late in the game. He said it was paid for, and he wanted a veteran to go. Naturally, I was in.

As the trip ended and we returned to Philadelphia last summer, I told Dan, "No way in hell this happens again next year". Of course, here I am again. So we see how lucky (or unlucky) I continue to be.

Over the course of the trip we hope to post to multiple different websites, including Twitter, YouTube and this blog. The nice thing about technology is that if we post something to one site we can usually put a link to it from the others, but just in case, here is a master list of sites you are going to want to be following this week...

Twitter: My account, and Dan's.

YouTube: My video page.

And this blog right here.

So sit back, relax, and enjoy a week without your sibling, friend, child or spouse. And take pleasure in the fact that they're getting sunburned on a roof somewhere on Grand Bahama Island.

Next post: Possibly tonight with the Dan Man himself.

Not So Little Drummer Boy

2009-07-06T22:09:00.008-04:00

This fella right here has kept me quasi-sane the past few weeks, so kudos to Yamaha for creating an object that I could hit really hard in tight quarters.

You see, I'm a drummer. Not a trained drummer, or an extremely talented drummer, but a drummer nonetheless. So it is with great angst that I spend so much time at Ithaca, far far away from my set back at home. In fact, I'm home so infrequently that at this point the set is sitting in pieces in my room waiting to be moved to the basement. Such is life.

The result of not having my drums here at IC is that I get very antsy and fidgety. My legs won't stop moving, and if they do, my head is rocking back and forth or my hands are doing something. Usually it's a little combination like it is right now; my hands are typing, my head rocking to the music and my left leg is bouncing up and down like a kid on an inflatable play toy after he just drank six cans of Coca-Cola over his lifetime total.

So to relieve all of that, I got myself this nice drum toy. Has it worked? I'd say to an extent it has, but at the end of the day, there's no such thing like sitting on the stool in front of your favorite big loud toy.

I figured that I would attach a video or two to help you assess my talents behind a kit. The videos were taken in my church; one about seven months ago and the other a little over a year ago. Each is from behind, so you don't get to see my pretty face, but when using a basic camcorder like mine I just wanted to place it somewhere that could preserve the sound fairly well.

Neither is an actual song, but both are instrumental jams with myself, two guitarists and a bassist. Each time, a guitarist picked a riff and we sort of went with it. Jamming is my favorite part of playing; the feeling you get from having the ability to feed off the others in your group and expect their next move is unparalleled.

So enjoy me playing, and then go listen to something better to cleanse yourself.

UPDATE: Just to be clear, I'm not trying to shine on these videos, just trying to fit in and support the even flow of the music. So no crazy solos from me here. Not my style.

FFFRRREEEEEEEDDDDDOOOOOMMMMM

2009-07-05T16:11:00.004-04:00

Thousand bucks to whoever recognizes the blog title reference. Kidding.

The holidays are a nice time to reflect, attend fireworks shows, eat things off a grill and not question what's inside them, and so on and so forth. Baseball. Yea, baseball should be in there too. And maybe throw in the beach, although I still haven't been to one this summer.

But basically, that's the general idea. In my opinion, the most important part is the fireworks show to culminate the activities. Here in Ithaca, we hold ours on July 2nd, which left many of us disheartened that we wouldn't be able to see a decent show on the 4th. But do not fear, my children, because we figured it out.

The fact that Ithaca sits on a huge hill at the end of a lake opens us up to quite an amazing view. A view that I in fact have posted on this blog before. So what better way to find fireworks on America's birthday than to sit on top of South Hill and listen for the echo of booming sounds from all around?

We positioned ourselves on the front porch of our office, the Peggy Ryan Williams Center, or as I affectionately refer to it, PWilly (or PDubs). From there, as the sun set over the nearby hills, we could see not one, not two, not three, not four, not five (get the idea) but close to twelve fireworks shows all over the area. With all of them going off at once it was like we were sitting in the middle of a laser light show, except instead we were watching a massive explosion-fest.

Sweet.

In my mind, what we witnessed last night is exactly the image that makes the British want to throw up once a year. Why? Because I am proud to be an American. I am proud to stand up, next to you, and defend her to the day.

On second thought, scratch that. I'll just sit here and watch the explosions for now.

Part of the front of PDubs at night...

And the long hallway on campus lit for no apparent reason on a national holiday in the middle of the summer. GOOOOOOOOOOOOO ECO-FRIENDLY!

Enjoy the Phillies winning at home, who knows how long it'll last.

Bonus: Enjoy a new governor of Alaska, one who hopefully won't inexplicably abandon his post in hopes of raising his national interest level. Someone needs to teach Sarah Palin that all publicity is not indeed good publicity.

Super Holiday Bonus: Enjoy the political fireworks in Honduras and the fact that no one in this country knows what the hell is going on there. Gotta love that with freedom and democracy comes ineptitude and idiocracy.

Twelve Days! Really?

2009-06-27T22:04:00.003-04:00

Man, has it really been twelve days? Wow, my apologies to you, whoever it is that reads this.

It's been hectic, to say the least. As the visitors to IC have picked up, so have the tours and other responsibilities. Even the tweeting took a pretty big hit this week which was a total shame.

Today was a great, relaxing Saturday. Hit up the Sciencenter's mini-golf course, walked around downtown, saw "The Brothers Bloom" and ate at Viva for the first time. All delightful ways to spend a day with your girl.

While golf was great, and the movie was very good as well, my favorite part of the evening was Viva. No, not for the food, although it was just fine, but because of the guy who stole a plate full of appetizers.

So we're sitting outside and across from us is another couple. Their table is along the normal sidewalk. An old guy with a huge white beard and headphones walks up and tells them he's hungry and asks for some food. They're not too good at communication apparently and both react differently. The man sits and looks bewildered that the question was even asked, even though there was no question ever asked. The woman starts to grab a napkin to put some food on it. Doesn't work well, so she slides the plate over to the guy who is still standing at the other end of their table.

Beardy picks up the plate. The man gasps a little. The woman tries to tell him to leave the plate or to at least bring it back, but it's too late. Bushy walks away with a nice glass plate from Viva full of taco fixings and crosses the street back onto the Commons.

Classic. If there is ever a book written titled "Only in Ithaca", this would be in it.

Anyways, here are two other photos I took this week. The lead photo is of a friend of mine. We tried to pose it and make it look really emo. I'd say we succeeded. The first photo below is of one of the multiple thunderstorms that encompassed the entire area this week. It was really cool to watch it bear down on us at the PRW Center.

The second photo is of the fountains, which still aren't on. Some sort of cleaning maybe?

Gotta love the colors though.

Enjoy MJ tributes and US soccer.

Return to Reality

2009-06-19T08:57:00.005-04:00

Slow week on the blog for a myriad of different reasons, but mostly this one:

My return to reality.

I know, I know, it's totally awesome that I got to write for my former paper and also brag about some of the cool stuff I've been up to. And I know I let that get printed in the paper before I posted it here, but I do have my reasons.

As awesome as this blog is, it isn't on paper, and it doesn't have a byline. Bylines are what make writing for print so exciting, and I will never forget getting the chance to see one weekly under a story. Good times for sure.

So to supplement the column, here are some photos from my recent gorge trip, and exclusive for the blog that no one else gets. (See, I care about you guys a decent amount.)

Enjoy the Phillies typical mid-year slump and rain for five straight days.

A Photo Essay

2009-06-13T16:56:00.005-04:00

I call these photos "The What Happens to it Now File". Ladies and gentlemen, the first floor of Job Hall, recently vacated by the Office of Admission and soon to be controlled by the lovely folks at ITS...

And if any of you were wondering, even though you weren't, the vertical white strips above the door are where the sign reading "Admissions" used to be. Yes, the same sign that is now hanging in my dorm room. For more on that story and others, check out my blog's archives!

Enjoy shameless plugs and hopefully a Phillies win.

SMLAM

2009-06-13T16:41:00.003-04:00

There are a myriad of reasons as to why I didn't get another chance to blog this week. Most notably, however, was the inability for me to get onto the internet in my dorm room from Thursday night through just about 10 minutes ago. So these pictures are actually from mid week, but we can all deal.

Here we have a wide angle of my awesome wrist paper cut. And for the close up...

Since when could a manila folder be so dangerous? Well, when handling over two thousand of them, something is bound to happen that defies the laws of physics, gravity and common sense. And there is.

And speaking of things that defy common sense, construction continues directly in the main entry way of the PRW Center...

They've come a little farther since them and apparently there will be some globe-like thing covering the lights, but still, this isn't done yet? Really? Amazing.

Enjoy rigged elections and fishy spreadsheets. And enjoy my other post that will be along shortly.

Oh Papercut, My Papercut

2009-06-08T23:13:00.005-04:00

Heard a good joke lately? How 'bout the one that's about a guy that spent six hours making copies of high school transcripts? No? Then play along.

Oh man, that Rob was so unlucky.

(How unlucky was he?)

He was so unlucky that he managed to spend six hours making copies of high school transcripts and all he got for it was a huge papercut on his arm that looks more like a razor blade mark than a manila folder.

Not funny? I'm still working on the wording. Anyways, yes, I gashed myself a little today while in the line of duty. (Helllloooooo worker's compensation!) Kidding. Didn't even bleed. Well, not much.

The point is, never attack a pile of manila folders full of ridiculous amounts of official looking paper printed on thicker stock just so that it looks more official. You will lose, as I did today. (Hopefully I'll get a decent picture of the wound tomorrow.)

Moving on...

I was walking down the stairs here the other day on my way to work when I heard a rustle. I turned to my left and about halfway down the staircase off to the side was a massive groundhog.

I stopped and stared.

It stopped, and stared.

And out of pure shock that the groundhog had initiated a staring contest with me, I blinked. And lost. Bastard.

The photo above is of the hole it lives in. My intent is to now stalk the hole until I see the groundhog again. Then I will offer it a "Best Two Out of Three" challenge, and we'll see who the real victor is.

And finally today, how to properly secure construction materials so that no one can get to them.

Now that is a solid investment. I might get one for my room. I'll put all my movies on it so people stop thinking I'm the next best thing to NetFlix.

Enjoy Bing, that is, if you even know what it is.

An Artsy Photo

2009-06-04T20:22:00.004-04:00

Man, I need to stop hanging around in a town full of indie hipsters. Next thing you know I'll be shirtless at Grassroots, covered in mud, singing along to J-San and the Analogue Sons and smoking a blunt. How can I be so descriptive? Well, last summer I emceed a little at Grassroots, so I had the dis-pleasure of watching tons of people, thousands upon thousands, dance like that for three days. There's dancing... and then there's whatever the hell people around here do. Haven't quite figured it out yet. (If you were insulted by that statement, meet me at the next paragraph.)

Hey there. How's the summer going? Enjoy Ithaca Fest? That's good. Now to business: If you happen to be someone that dances like that, I apologize. But honestly, have you looked at yourself in a mirror while doing it? You look like Gumby on a roller coaster with all of that flailing you do. Just sayin'.

Anyways, construction continues on the new main entrance to the college...

It's getting there. Nothing great, but you can now walk across the area up by the top that I posted photos of the other day. So that's cool. Still isn't done though, and I'm starting to get bored with having to describe to every tour why we are walking through a construction zone. But hey, it just adds to the excitement, right?

Also, the construction in Dillingham is a noisy party. The new link hallway with the classrooms is still open, but once you get about halfway through it towards the Dill (yea, new nickname) you start to choke on the dust from all the construction. Fun times. Also, extremely exciting for tours.

Did I mention some visitors are still getting lost? Turns out we still had a sign in the visitors lot pointing people towards Job Hall. So I walked out there and ripped it out of the ground and laid it on the side of the road. As I walked away, Public Safety drove by.

The sign was up again the next day. So this time I one-upped myself by yanking out the sign and carrying it back into PWilly. It now sits in an Admission conference room waiting to be picked up. Of course, it was supposed to be picked up late last week, so if it's still there soon I might just put parts of this sign in my room too. I would have to unscrew everything from the massive metal pole it is in, but it'd totally be worth it.

Enjoy the Phils west coast swing and DMB on the Today Show tomorrow.

Put A Smile On Your Face

2009-06-02T21:23:00.006-04:00

Saw that in the hallway today and thought it was kinda fun. Another day in Admission has brought me one step closer to the working world. I spent most of my day typing away at my desk. At least I was typing things that were enjoyable to me.

I thought I'd give you a guys an idea of what the new space between PWilly and the business school is shaping up to look like. So here are a few shots...

It looks like that circle guy is just going to have plants in it. As for the design, I'm slightly disappointed. I don't see any real symbolism in the brick layout chosen. I was hoping for a cool IC or something. Oh well. The staggered walkway down between the two buildings is a little weird as well, but to be fair I'll hold over judgment until I see the final product.

As for the sidewalk over between Job and the business school, they put down some special netting that made the grass grow super fast. The lamps look nice over there thought, which makes me think that the final product should be pretty sweet.

Enjoy Men vs. Wild and Conan.

The Dreaded Desk

2009-06-01T17:53:00.005-04:00

Yeap, that's my name tag, desk "MM". (It means I'm twice as cool as M in the Bond movies, although I'd rather be twice as cool as Q to be honest.)

And no, I don't actually have an assigned desk in the Office of Admission. It's just the label given to the desk because there is no one permanently there. So most days, I do work there at least a little, but not for long. I'm usually out and about campus, or working in a conference room or in the main lobby. Why wasn't I in the main lobby a lot today? Maybe because of this...

The square black hole is the ceiling panel removed from the main lobby after some leakage began during the rain on Friday. And by some, I mean that the ceiling was bowed like it was holding a basketball and dripping about once a second. Sweet. As one admission counselor observed, "Ithaca likes to build things and then rebuild them". I can understand, everyone makes mistakes. Let's throw a hose up on the roof, shoot out some water, and see what comes out (which, by the way, is literally what they did). It doesn't seem like such a big deal to me. So let the rebuilding begin!

Wait... to replace that one section you need this much equipment and to take over the lobby for an entire day? "Nay," says the construction worker pictured in my brain. "We need multiple days."

Never mind, let's skip the rebuild. If anyone asks we'll just say the waterfall through the main lobby is an eco-friendly touch. I promise.

Enjoy DMB live on Hulu.com at 9! I can't wait.

Treat Yo Mama (Earth) With Respect

2009-05-30T20:29:00.005-04:00

Apparently I'm on a "modify song titles to title your blog" kick. And by kick, I mean I've done it like twice ever.

Today's image comes courtesy of my run today. I could turn this into a metaphor about the road of life and how it winds and turns, or tell the story behind the trail, or maybe even make jokes about how much my body hates me for all the athletic things I've been doing lately. (You hear that Mom? Remember that time you said I was "filling out"? I'm working on it.) (Love you.)

But I've decided to not go in that direction at all. Where am I going? Ehh, we'll see as we go.

Ithaca is great in the summer kind of like how a bikini model is great in a bikini: It's just the way things are supposed to be. Granted, the mornings are still cold, but it actually gets warm later on, which to some feels like a novelty every time it happens.

Ithaca truly is gorgeous, and it is awesome to be able to just go explore trails or jump in a lake (the IPD isn't reading this thing, right?). And to make matters even better, the pool on campus opened today. So now I can go for a run to a gorge, swim, then run back to campus, and swim. It's what I'd like to call the Ithaca Sandwich. And to all of you out there who have never taken a bite, seriously, get on that.

Enjoy birthdays and paydays. I know I did.

A Bench Is A Terrible Thing To Waste

2009-05-28T18:33:00.005-04:00

We had some new benches installed at the PWilly Center yesterday. Like 'em? They're nice and all, I mean, sustainably made which is big, and they're about as comfortable as any other combination of wood and concrete block out there.

Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Hey blog writer guy, why are they lined up like it's some sort of religious service? Wouldn't someone sitting on the bench in front of you block the view?"

I may have thought of that...And the results are just as you may have expected. (Special thanks to tour guide in crime Max for posing for this amazingly complex photo shoot). But seriously, who does that? We build this sweet new building and everything, brag about it to everyone, then botch the benches? Really?

That's like making it all the way through the Aristocrats joke and botching the punchline. (Shout out to those who get that).

That's like recovering a fumble on your own goal line and taking the ball 99 yards the other way before falling flat on your face and coughing the ball up again.

That's like quitting your job in a tirade, screaming and yelling and taunting while you head towards the door, only to pull the handle instead of push.

That's like... well, you get the idea.

I have a feeling a future endeavor for me may involve moving these suckers, and let me tell you: I cannot wait. And by cannot, I mean can.

Enjoy the continued weather that can best be described as "Ehh".

Rainy Tuesday (sung to the tune of Bloody Sunday)

2009-05-26T18:36:00.004-04:00

Started to give a tour this afternoon at around 3:30. The weather was a little drizzly, but not too shabby in my opinion, so I went sans umbrella. Then, as I rounded the first corner with my group of 15 high school students who paid attention to me less than a pre-teen listens to her mother while trying to watch American Idol, the skies decided to open up. And when I say open up, I mean open. Literally. I saw a hole in the sky. And then God came out. And I knew it was over.

...Kidding. But it did rain really hard. And I got really wet. But, I still looked cool because I didn't have an umbrella. So now, when these high schoolers move on to college, they will refuse to use an umbrella as well, because "that's what all college kids do".

I love shaping young minds.

Enjoy King James go off tonight, I predict a huge game for him. (What's that? I don't follow basketball? Well, touche. But I do follow karma. And this boy sure as hell ain't layin' down and takin' it tonight.)

Memorial Day in Photos

2009-05-25T20:04:00.004-04:00

Here's my day, as captured by my cell phone.

Enjoy.

New Videos Surface...

2009-05-25T09:52:00.001-04:00

...Because I posted them.

Enjoy.

Sunday is a Get-Nothing-Done-Day

2009-05-24T23:10:00.003-04:00

This here is the oh so full Pub today for dinner. Man, it took us forever to find a seat. On the bright side, it was a great day to relax, and re cooperate after the absurd amount of walking done yesterday to and from the gorges. The plan is to go again tomorrow, which I fully endorse. I even suggested we walk again just so that I could hate myself even more when I wake up on Tuesday morning.

In other news, I really need to find a drum set. The antsy nature with which I am approaching everything these days has me jonesin' for a good hi-hat and a snappy snare. When I usually miss my set I tend to watch old videos of me playing the skins (as the cool kids call 'em). But now those videos are getting a little boring and I need to get back behind a kit before I lose my mind.

I do have my djembe here, but it can only do so much to cure the pain. And by pain I mean inability to stop moving or bouncing my hands or legs. Just like I am right now.

Enjoy my bragging about the Phillies taking down the Yankees. (And since when could you hit a home run with a broken bat?)

Down By The River... And by river I mean gorge.

2009-05-23T19:15:00.004-04:00

Due to the planned power outage on campus today, I was forced to go outside and actually do something. My pal and I walked down to the gorges to lay out and relax and as you can see, it was really pretty. Then we walked on over to the Commons and had some ice cream, eventually arriving back on campus just as the power came back on. Perfect.

A little known fact about the office that I work in is that it is actually called the Office of Admission without an S. So all these times I've been calling it Admissions have been completely wrong. Apparently some schools call it admissions, but we call it the singular form because we are only admitting one individual at a time. (It's always the philosophical shit that gets me.)

So from now on, I shall try to attempt to call it Admission. And when I screw up, you can sue me.

It's made even more comical because of the sign I took the other day from the old office. It used to hang above the old entryway (for the full story, read my entry from a few days ago) and it reads "Admissions" which apparently sent some people who have been at the office a long time into a tizzy. But do not fear, the new signs say Admission. That is, until I write an S on all of them.

Enjoy the hollow shell of a closer that was once Brad Lidge, because Lord knows I'm not.

Where'd Everyone Go?

2009-05-22T14:00:00.003-04:00

I'm currently in the Admission Office, by myself. Today is the faculty and staff Mardi Gras "Thank the Lord we survived another year with these rotten kids" picnic and awkward-fest. So I'm holding down the fort here at the front desk. Talked to Tommy Roch for a while and then have been playing my music nice and loud in the main lobby to PDubs and just surfing the web. Best part is that I get paid for this.

Coming up at 3 I'm going to play in the faculty/staff/student softball league. We play every Friday and I can't wait to see how many 60 year old politics professors will be involved. If I get outplayed by anyone I should just hang up the glove for good.

Enjoy your weekends and the nice weather.

Summer Time is Awesome Time

2009-05-20T18:17:00.004-04:00

Yea, yea, terrible blog title. But it's all good because you still decided to read this anyway.

Grades are in. Classes are done. Work is on. And it's getting hot out (hopefully for real this time). Safe to say that summer is the "in" thing right now.

Of course, with summer comes certain obligations, no matter the location or temperature. Obligations like blog posts, which I have slowed to a unique crawl of "once-whenever-I-find-the-time". So here, my pledge to you that I will return to my writing ways. I mean, it would be sac religious of me not to, considering writing is what got me into all of this mess.

What mess? The mess of life, mi amigo (that's Spanish for friend). So let's hit the road with burning speed and start by talking about my ballin' pad for the summer.

I'm working up here at the good ship Ithaca for the summer, doing "work" for the admissions office. Work for me includes giving tours, writing self-guided tours, shooting tours (with a camera, ya freak), and just about any other random job you might think of. Like today's job, which I will now divulge for your enjoyment.

Admissions moved to our brand new pretty building about 2 months ago, and tours moved to the new building about 4 weeks ago. So all of the signs for people visiting the school have yet to change. The arrows all point to the old admissions office and there is... well, now it's was... a sign hanging above the main door saying, quite eloquently I might add, "Admissions".

Today I got to tear it down. I was giddy at the prospect. I armed myself with two flat-head screwdrivers, the biggest two I could find, and walked over to the old admissions entrance. (To look cooler I put the two screwdrivers in my back pocket as I walked over. How many people did I pass on the way? None. But I felt cooler on the inside so it's okay.)

Upon arrival, I did a once over of my surroundings. There was no one around, except a janitor who was dusting about 25 yards away. I went to work.

I was under the impression that a sign to arguably one of the most important offices on campus would have some job security, you know, actually be placed with some authority. Boy, was I wrong. To my great dismay, it took about two minutes to get the sign off the wall. It had been held on by the same types of roll tape that I had used to hang my "Jump to Conclusions Mat" in my dorm during the year.

So all of that excitement I had was suddenly gone. But on the bright side, I have a big sign that reads "Admissions" in my room now. And that is just one of many reasons that my room is totally ballin' this summer.

More reasons tomorrow? Ehh, depends on my motivation.

Enjoy the Fightin's and watching Kobe "do work", or whatever it is he does.

A Day with Tom Rochon

2009-05-08T17:42:00.001-04:00

On Monday, I spent the day following Ithaca College President Tom Rochon with some cameras and my friend Becky. This is the first of a few packages that will come out of the day...

Enjoy going home and relaxing for the first time in a long time.

A Smile

2009-04-29T19:32:00.003-04:00

My RA died today. Her name is, well, was Andrea. I didn't know her too well, but she taught me something today.

We held a vigil last night, while she was still alive, hoping to stumble upon a miracle. We did not. This morning she passed, but in a sense, that may be our miracle.

You see, Andrea had been sick for a while. First mono, then pneumonia. She had been in and out of doctors and hospitals. On Friday morning she went into cardiac arrest at the hospital and was gone for a while before they brought her back. She was in a coma, no brain function.

They tested her daily; her friends went back and forth from Ithaca to her hospital in Syracuse. But this morning, she breathed her last.

We held a second vigil just a little while ago at the chapel on campus. It was packed. Friends, colleagues, church mates, all together, united by the one person who touched all of them in some way shape or form.

When my roommate and I moved in a few days early last August we got our first glimpse of Andrea. She was smiling, making a bulletin board in our hallway. Paper, markers and pens were everywhere, and she had her laptop sitting next to her playing music. She was extremely inviting, so we invited her to watch a movie with us in our room later that night.

I'm not sure if my roommate expected her to come, but I didn't. Our RA's last year weren't very engaging, so I had the bar set pretty low. But there she was, sitting in one of our chairs, watching a movie with us while she took a break from her work. Just one of us, another college student among all the masses.

I learned a lot about her tonight; her love for singing, her passion for God. But I also learned a lot about life. We cannot wait to grasp what we want, or stray from our path. No, life's too short for all of that.

Andrea's smile will always be ingrained in my brain. The relaxed attitude she had even when faced with so much to do. We all have our own bulletin boards to fill in this life, but it will surely be a long time before any one's will be as vibrant and full of life as hers was.

We all lost a friend tonight. Her name was Andrea. Some of us knew her better than others, but we all knew she was something special.

Enjoy heaven, and hopefully we'll see you again.

An Ode to Hats

2009-04-21T22:51:00.003-04:00

Now I know there is someone else out there who understands how I feel. You see, I love hats. Especially baseball caps. I own tons of them. Over 50, at least. Ballpark it at around 65 or so baseball caps alone. Add in some goofier stuff, some ski caps, and some other odd head trinkets and you've got quite a collection.

I like to have tons of different styles, colors, and logos. I have my fitted Zephyr Ithaca hat, my Ithaca trucker cap, my red liberty bell Phils cap, my black Reebok hockey cap, my pinstriped grey hat, and about 15 others here at IC with me. (Yes, I spell grey "grey". So bugger off.)

Hats are also the little thing I buy on trips. Magnets, cheap t-shirts, postcards, pins? Those are too simple. I like to find a nice hat I like.

And with those hats, I like to match. Yes, I like to match my hat to my outfit. Recently I've been giving lots of tours, so my hats have predominately been Ithaca related, but why do people think it's weird to match a hat?

If I'm wearing a black shirt, why not a black hat? If I'm wearing a white shirt with some red and blue in it, why not a hat with some red and blue? The possibilities truly are endless.

I just don't understand why people find my hat loving odd. Sure, call it a fetish if you like, weirdos. I like my hats, I like them cool lookin', and I like 'em to match.

Enjoy Ithaca weather (rain) and some playoff hockey.

Binghamton Shootings

2009-04-03T20:16:00.002-04:00

I was down in Binghamton today photogging at the shooting and press conference. Here are some thoughts I just emailed to my class:

I actually just got back to campus from Binghamton. I drove down around 12:45 with Bryan Mercer, the news director for ICTV. When we got to town it was actually hard to find the scene. We were one of the first out of town people there, beaten only by Binghamton news and some stations from Elmira.

We could get to within about a block of the building and had a good view of the front porch area. We arrived about 30 min. after they had evacuated the survivors, so there was still plenty of activity. I photogged while Bryan got some information from locals hanging around. Because of the situation, I didn't "lock it down" as much as some might like, but the shots still came out pretty clean. Lots of rumors were flying around, which made it difficult to get a handle on the situation. We were near where the SWAT team trucks were, so I got some great footage of SWAT members returning to their vehicles and such. Everyone was pretty calm, and it was fairly subdued. We then went around in a bit of a U shape to the other side of the street that was roped off. At that point we were across the street from the High School, and they were just starting to release kids after the lock down. We didn't want to shoot faces (it's generally good policy to avoid faces in case some of them were under 18) so I shot low to the ground, kids crossing the street in front of cop cars and cops that were at the blockaded road.

At that point it was about 3:30. We were originally told the press conference would be at City Hall at 4 so we headed back to the car and started to drive over. Once we got to City Hall, it was clear more media was beginning to show up. Lots more satellite trucks and news vans were around, and they had us all cluster in the waiting room of City Hall. The press conference, we found out, had been pushed to 4:30.

We continued to wait, and then people were starting to be allowed in. It was a sea of press from radio, TV and print, and everyone had their equipment which had to be scanned through the x-ray machine. At first we were turned away because we did not have press credentials, but we were eventually let in after multiple other people didn't have credentials, including a photographer for the New York Times.

The conference was packed. About 20-25 cameras, tons of reporters and such as well. We got in a second tier of cameras set up on a bit of a riser. Our shot of the podium wasn't great, but it wasn't bad either. The conference eventually happened at 5, with Patterson, Hinchey, the mayor and the police chief. It went fine. We had our wireless mic plugged into the main feed so our audio turned out pretty well.

Then we packed up and headed back. When we drove back past the scene, it was mobbed. Cameras everywhere, major trucks with huge dishes, Binghamton has officially come under siege by the media.

I realize I've written a book here, but I thought it was all pretty interesting. Looking back through the footage, it turned out decently. I was a pinch out of focus for some of the press conference, which is hard to avoid when you're zoomed all the way in and your tripod is raised as high as it can go so you can't tell in real time.

As far as the coverage goes, the media we were around all day was very respectful. Everyone helped everyone out, and no one was a jerk about anything. It's so hard to decide how to act in situations like this, and it really is hard to react in the moment. At one point I found a parking lot that had a nice angle of the back door (which had been blocked by the gunman) so I started to move into the lot. A security guard from the High School was in a car nearby, rolled down her window and said it was still closed off. I nodded, and turned to walk away, and while I did I said "It was worth a shot" to Bryan. Immediately I cringed. It's so hard to be professional and caring while also trying to not crack or feel too pressured.

As a follow-up, I'd want to talk to some of the SWAT members and police officers who responded. By day, they are stone cold and doing their job. But I can't imagine walking into a room with 13 dead bodies in it. I'd cover how they are handling the experience and what counseling and therapy they may be seeking out.

I'd also caution to be careful using this story to look at bigger issues like outsourcing and immigration policy and avoid connecting this to the economy. Millions of people have lost their jobs, and millions have dealt with outsourcing and immigration, so to directly connect them to a senseless act from one person would be, in my opinion, a disservice to those other issues. The media has a tendency to package things like that and relate them to bigger issues. But at the end of the day, this guy was the one who pulled the trigger, not the Dow and not IBM.

Enjoy what we have, because it can be gone in an instant.

Screening Room Promo

2009-03-23T00:38:00.002-04:00

Enjoy this promo from one of the shows I work on for ICTV. We had a little fun with famous movie quotes.

Also, yes, it is my voice on the end tag. I voiced all of them actually, so technically I'm in the promo for every show on ICTV! My domination is complete! Or not, I don't know.

For some reason this blog cuts off the right part of the screen. I apologize.

Anyways, please enjoy responsibly.

March is Mad... Or Something Like That.

2009-03-21T20:05:00.003-04:00

I used to pay really close attention to college basketball. Now I don't. Can you guess how I'm doing with my March Madness pool?

I bet you can't actually, because I'm doing pretty well actually. Better than I ever did when I was paying attention. And this leads me to my point: No matter how much you learn, guessing always wins out.

Think about it.

When you don't know the answer on a test, what do you do? You guess.

When you stop paying attention to someone when they are talking to you and all of a sudden they are looking to you for a response, what do you do? You guess.

And when you are stuck trying to defuse a bomb with the entire world's fate in your hands while you decide whether to cut the red or blue wire, what do you do? You guess, although everyone knows you just cut the green one.

So in a way, guessing is the highest form of human thought. It is always our last resort, our potential savior, and sometimes, our saving grace.

Whether or not you guess correctly, well, let's not get too demanding here.

Enjoy the madness and the sadness that comes from incorrectly picking the madness that occurs.

Fail?

2009-03-09T15:17:00.001-04:00

I don't think this is a fail...

see more pwn and owned pictures

I think it's more brilliant than anything else, really.

I Caved

2009-03-07T16:01:00.003-05:00

Yea, I know, I have no dignity. I started a twitter. I mean, that isn't so bad, but still, it's kinda bad.

Why?

Because I still don't see the big deal with it. Will I use it? Yea. I'll read other people's posts and post my own fairly often. But all it does it make me that much more susceptible to stalking and that much less likely to actually interact with real humans.

Sure, twitter is nice for keeping up with celebs like Lance Armstrong, or for TV shows, like how we have an NHT! account that I update a few times a week, but still... the common man really has no actual reason for this. It's just extra. Add it on to the facebook, the blackberry, the iPhone, and WiFi.

But since I have it, I'll embrace it. Make sure to tweet me! (Last time I will ever use that term. I swear.)

Enjoy the sunshine.

March? Already? Crap.

2009-03-04T00:00:00.004-05:00

Really? It's March? You've got to be kidding me. I have so much to do, and much less time to do it in than I previously believed. Totally not cool. At all.

Anyways, things are going well here in Chateau Engelsman. NHT! is movin' and groovin', ICB Sunday is doing its thing, and I've done a decent job of retaining my sanity. (Key word: decent).

Let's talk Obama, shall we?

I'm not overwhelmed by what we've seen from #44 so far. That being said, I'm not underwhelmed either. The pacing of this administration seems very similar to those fast, which to me is a bit of a left down. I feel like we were set up for a much faster paced bunch this time around, but even a message of hope seems to be getting caught in the bureaucratic jambalaya that is Congress and Washington politics in general. (D.C., not the state. Duh.)

The administration has kept some promises it said it would, stayed close to the promise when it could, but it has still strayed a bit as well. And as far as the new budget? Well, that deserves a paragraph all its own...

Okay. I get that we're in the shitter. I get that we need to do something to fix all this. What I don't get is how we know it will work. At this point, anything we do is really just like trying to pin the tail on the donkey, find the needle in the haystack, and find the lost swimmer at sea... all at the same time. We really don't know what's wrong, or how we got here, or how to fix it. This thing is so complicated, so befuddling, that I am scared spending this much money on guesswork is just too much. Let's be honest: The choice to come up with this budget is really a crap shoot. We just can't tell what's going to happen, and the more the government sits around doing nothing, the worse it gets.

Okay, moving on.

Jindal... awful last Tuesday. Just awful. And for all those governors who are refusing money from US to help- you've gotta be freakin' kidding me. People are homeless or close to it. People are dying because they can't afford food or proper health care. But on principle, Mr. Governor hanging out in the nice mansion at the state capital thinks its a good idea to just refuse to accept the money.

Wow. Just wow.

That's enough for now. Expect more to come soon.

Enjoy fantasy baseball drafts and the WBC.

New Website... and I was on TV!

2009-02-17T09:42:00.003-05:00

We've launched our new website for WICB News and Now Hear This! Check out news.wicb.org or wicb.org/news and you will be directed to our cool new site. There you can find audio, video and articles about local stories and happenings.

And if you'd like to leave a comment, feel free! We'd love to hear feedback.

As far as NHT! goes, tonight will be our second episode on TV at 8 pm on ictv.org. Our third radio episode will air on Thursday night at 8 on wicb.org.

Clips of both episodes can be found online shortly after they air.

Finally, make sure to check out The Screening Room on Wednesdays at 8 pm on ictv.org. It's a live movie review show that I associate produce and host from time to time. This week is our Oscar predictions special, so it's definitely going to be a lot of fun.

That's all for now. Expect some new musings in the near future.

Enjoy pitchers, catchers, and all the goodness that Spring Training brings.

One down.. too many to go.

2009-02-06T20:35:00.004-05:00

Had a great premiere to Now Hear This! on radio last night. All the higher-ups liked it, all the friends liked it, pretty much everyone liked it.

So I guess that means it worked.

Kidding, I know it went amazingly well. I am really proud to work with such dedicated people who have a love for news and journalism like I do. It took 5 months to prepare for last night, which is 3 months short of election night coverage but still pretty amazing when you think about.

As I stated last time, Now Hear This! will premiere on ictv.org Tuesday night at 8 pm. Watch it, please?

You see, the worst part about doing a radio show or a TV show is that you don't really know how many people watch or listen. We can measure the listening audience on wicb.org (which, by the way, went up last night during NHT... how awesome is that?), but we can't really know who watched or listened other than that.

So let me know if you watch and tell me what you think. We're always open to suggestion.

Until then, enjoy this...

It's Almost Time...

2009-02-04T03:23:00.003-05:00

Once again, I am within 48 hours of a huge night for myself and my radio career. Now Hear This! is almost set... sort of... so it is getting down to this final crunch that is getting me depressed.

Why am I depressed? Because it reminds me of election night, where 8 months of work went into 3 hours of radio. So coming up on the premiere of NHT I get the sinking feeling that afterwards it will all be over.

Then I'll go to sleep, wake up Friday morning, and have a smile on my face. Because instead of a one night extravaganza, this time I'm doing a certified, bona fide, and Bono-fied show. A weekly show. That won't end abruptly leaving me with a massive amount of free time.

The last time I had that abrupt hole was post election night, and in that time I helped formulate what is now, well, Now Hear This!. (Do I do the whole exclamation point/period thing? I haven't figured that out yet.)

Anyways, my point is that I'm thoroughly excited for Now Hear This!, as an ongoing entity in my life as opposed to a one-off evening of energy and excitement.

Now Hear This! premieres on 92 WICB tomorrow night at 8 pm. You can listen in at wicb.org.

My permanent DJ shift this semester is Thursday morning drive, from 6-10 am. You can also listen to that at wicb.org.

I am still hosting ICB Sunday, which is Sundays at 6 pm on WICB.

Now Hear This!, the TV version, premieres next Tuesday, the 10th, at 8 pm, on ICTV, which locally is Time Warner Cable channel 16. You can also watch the show on ICTV's live webcast at ictv.org. Afterwards, the show will soon be posted online.

Now Hear This! will re-air on ICTV on Sundays at 9 pm.

And I'll let you know when our new website for WICB News launches in about a week and a half.

Enjoy the Barackberry, and the Bidenberry.

The Prep Work Continues

2009-01-28T20:24:00.003-05:00

Boy, oh boy, what a busy week.

So to sum up- Now Hear This! is going well, I'm hosting The Screening Room, and ICB Sunday is supposed to premiere on Sunday night at 6.

Is this all proving detrimental to my grades? Nope.

How?

Good question. But what I do know is that while I am incredibly busy, I am also having a great time, learning a ton, and if nothing else I'm working on some great resume material.

The radio version of Now Hear This! will premiere next Thursday at 8 pm on wicb.org, the TV version will debut February 10th at 8 pm on ICTV.org, and the new website will premiere on Feb. 15th at the latest. I'll reveal the site's URL once it's up and running.

Enjoy Gillibrand and Gatorade's new brand-ing. (It rhymed... sorta.)

South of the Border

2009-01-24T16:19:00.003-05:00

Eventually the United States may want to start paying attention to problems like this, that continue to occur just south of our border. How long can we ignore these atrocities that occur right under our nose?

Yes, there is no easy solution to the problem, but the number of deaths this past year in Mexico due to gang related drug violence is astonishing, not to mention the fact that it's up 50% from 2007. At some point we might want to either offer some support or something. If this was occurring in a closer ally of the US it would be addressed immediately.

It is also this exact problem that hinders the growth of Mexico-US relations and growth of industry from the US to Mexico. I know of a few projects that have been proposed to occur in Mexico that would help both countries but continue to meet critics due to the volatile state of a nation that touches our borders.

Oy.

Enjoy NHL All-Stars and the new referee uniforms.

It Lives!

2009-01-22T17:28:00.004-05:00

We just had rush night for ICTV last night, where we debuted the concept of a new TV/radio/internet show called "Now Hear This!". We got 48 people to sign up for the show, plus another 10-15 expected tonight at radio rush, which means we've more than filled the amount of people we need for the show to run on all cylinders at once.

It is awesome to see such excitement coming from college students about a news magazine. Around here we're calling it "60 Minutes meets Inside Edition minus Bill O'Reilly's arrogance" and it seems to be working pretty well.

The website is almost done and will launch the week of our first TV show, which will be the week of February 9th. Our first radio show will be February 5th, which is pushed back a week farther than our radio promos say it will be because we want to make sure it is the best show we can put forward.

More updates to come for sure; producing a television show is unlike anything I've ever done, with more people, more preparation and more chances to mess up. It's like election night, but every week, and that's exactly how I like it.

Enjoy number 44 and his "BarackBerry".

In other words...

2009-01-16T11:45:00.002-05:00

I generally write pretty low-brow humor. Nothing too substantial here, no jokes about the Asian stock markets or a law school term no one’s ever heard of. (See, I couldn’t even come up with a good law school term.) As a student of journalism, I’ve always been taught to write to the lowest denominator. And since written newspapers with finger paints is apparently frowned upon, people seem to agree that writing between a 5th and 8th grade level is sufficient.

Some people, however, claim that low-brow humor isn’t really humor because it just plays to a stupid crowd. The thought being that stupid people think stuff is funnier a lot more than smart people isn’t exactly new, and it sure doesn’t surprise me.

But how can we determine if a joke is funnier smart or dumb? Well thanks to advancements in technology, my computer can actually tell me what grade level I am writing at. So let’s do an experiment: First a simple, low-brow joke. Then we will class it up a bit and see how they compare.

Ready?

Test 1:

Your mother is so fat, she could use the equator as a waistband. (Grade level 4.9)

The woman who birthed you from her womb is so obese, she could metaphorically use the imaginary line at the center of Earth as a way to hold up her pants. (Grade level 12)

Result: As difficult as it would be to remember dozens of Your Momma jokes at a high school graduate format, just one seems to be rather funny. The fact that the joke is drawn out for so long adds insult to the injury. Point Smart Jokes.

Test 2:

The French language’s most popular two words are “I Surrender”. (Grade level 7.1)

If a person of triviality were to look at the language of the French people, he/she would find that their most popular words uttered were “I Surrender”. (Grade Level 12)

Result: As much as a fan I am of the words triviality and utter, this one is a no brainer. When dealing with jokes about other cultures, especially cultures that speak a different language, it is best to keep the English as simple as possible. Point Stupid Joke.

Test 3:

Screw you! (Grade level 0.0)

Use your genitalia in a way completely unflattering as to simulate intercourse on yourself! (Grade level 12)

Result: Nothing can compete against the simplest of insults. Usually used as a quick comeback, something like this insult would never work drawn out like is it. Point Stupid Joke.

The Verdict: The simpler the funnier, unless it is a Your Momma joke. In that case, using as many words as possible draws it out and makes it perfectly hilarious. (And if you were wondering, this was written at a grade level of 7.2.)

Bad Ass

2009-01-10T20:33:00.002-05:00

I wish I were a bad ass. I wish I were bad ass. Some bad ass dude, with bad ass hair slicked back to reveal the bad ass tat on my bad ass neck. I wish I had the bad ass smile with the wicked gap in my teeth from that bad ass fight with the wimp ass dude in college.

I wish I had bad ass sunglasses with lenses so no one could see my eyes. That way I could stare at people and be all bad ass, but no one would be able to be bad ass and stare back. I could intimidate people, and be totally bad ass.

I wish I wore bad ass ripped jeans and drove a bad ass motorcycle with a sidecar. I wouldn’t have anyone sit in the sidecar though. The sidecar would hold all my bad ass shit, like my bad ass maps of North American highways and my bad ass passport for my bad ass trips to Mexico.

Oh, how bad ass those trips to Cancun would be. Permanent spring breaks are truly bad ass. Even more bad ass would be the chicks I got. All hot and bad ass, with a nice ass. That would be a bad ass girlfriend to have if I was bad ass. On second thought, I wouldn’t even have a girlfriend, because that’d be way more bad ass.

And let’s not even get into my leather jacket. If you had measure the bad-assidness of my jacket, it would be completely off the bad ass map of North American highways. You know why? Because bad-assidness is tough to measure. And I’d know, because I’d be bad ass.

What about my job, you might ask the bad ass. Well guess what- bad asses don’t need jobs. Why? Because that would be totally un-badass. Bad asses don’t have jobs, pay taxes or show up for jury duty. But bad asses do vote, because who else would vote for the bad asses? Everyone needs representation in democracy, including the bad asses.

I wish I were bad ass, not for the chicks or the awesome hog, but mostly just so I could say I were a bad ass. Because being called a bad ass is, well, pretty damn bad ass.

Reality is told to face some

2009-01-05T19:12:00.002-05:00

In an apparent shortfall of braincells, the powers that be at the Bucks County Courier Times have decided to cut my longterm beat, the reality section, to save a few pennies.

...

Sorry, I had to throw up.

This is a terrible idea. An awful, ludicrous, insane, completely absurd idea.

The last full issue of the section is expected to be on January 15th, and after that, the section will be shrunk to 2 or 3 columns and stories in the Tuesday Features section. The website for reality will apparently undergo an upgrade, but it still won't be the same as the full section everyone has come to know and love.

I for one am flabbergasted, and unsure of what we can do to save our section. If you have any ideas, be sure to let me know.

This is the response I have sent to my former editor Andy to be printed in the last full section, which has unofficially become the reality swan song:

I feel like I’m breaking up with my longtime girlfriend. You see, reality and I have shared a lot of firsts together. There’s my first published article (which happened to be on my 17th birthday), there’s my first backtalk (which was more positive then some that would come later on), my first paycheck (for my comments on the Pennsbury strike), and my first flirtation with writing libelous things (for my column about Dorothy Vislosky).

That’s a lot of firsts, and in a writing sense, it made reality my first love. And at least in a writing love sense, it is hard to break up with your first.

I learned so much in my two years with the section and I am still friends with many of my fellow panelists. But the most important thing to me was that reality gave me a voice, or at least a voice people listened to… or at least a voice people had the opportunity to listen to. In my mind, this section not only emboldened the writers of tomorrow, it gave the readers of this paper hope about the future generations. And now, we will have neither.

Kidding. We’ll have both still, but it certainly won’t be as good. Reality was and continues to be just that, a place to discuss reality from real teens to other teens and their families. How sad it will be when our young smiling faces don’t hit the doorsteps on Thursdays anymore. That’s a first I definitely never want to see.

If you have a Facebook and want to help, click here.

If you don't and want to complain, e-mail the executive editor of the Courier Times, Pat Walker, here.

Spread the word! We need to save reality.

I Intend to Intend

2009-01-03T22:35:00.003-05:00

So much is now made of college signing days, when high school phenom athletes choose to state which college they intend to go to. They aren’t saying that they will actually go there; they are merely saying they are pretty sure they will.

Well with the job of being a college athlete becoming more and more difficult, when will it become true that students must signify their intent to intend? Increasing pressure is being put on high schoolers, middle schoolers, and other schoolers to perform at elite levels, so why shouldn’t the 3 year old who can swing a bat sign his letter of intent to play at Sacramento State?

Who will be the scouts for children of these ages? And more importantly, how do they avoid looking like pedophiles?

Just think, in the future, this might be possible…

Dear Local Media Outlets,

I, Jonathan Tanner, age 4, of Morrisville Pre-School, intend to one day intend to attend the University of Southern California to play football.

This choice to eventually make a choice has been extremely difficult on myself and my family, and I would like to thank my pediatrician Dr. Schoenberg who prescribed my Kid's Tylenol for the headache brought on by my agonizing decision.

I’d like to thank my mom, my dad, my older sister Elizabeth, my teacher Miss Haverish, and my imaginary friend Harry. Special recognition goes to my mom who wrote all of this down while I dictated it to her.

I’d also like to thank my agent Scott Boras, who forced my family to move to an area with a better Gymboree class, as well as guaranteed me a huge payday after my days at USC.

In a final note, if anyone sees my pet goldfish Perry please let me know. He has been missing ever since the morning he was relaxing at the top of the bowl and mommy told me to go do wind sprints while she “woke Perry up and fed him”. Mommy says he jumped out of the bowl and hopped into the sink. I sure hope he made it past the food dispenser blades.

Signed,

Jonathan Tanner

An Introduction

2009-01-01T18:08:00.001-05:00

There are few things left in this world that can be labeled as ambitious; even being an astronaut isn’t cool anymore. Sometimes I sit in wonder of all that someone can do, but what should really astonish me is how much we all can’t. Take dunking a basketball for example; tons of people can do it, but you don’t see me in the NBA, do you?

This is why I have chosen to write a book. It isn’t meant to prove I can dunk a basketball, because that will never change. But I want to be ambitious, and one thing most people still can’t do is write a book. Will it be published? Odds are no. But then again, they almost published “If I Did It”, so I figure I’ve at least got a bit of a shot.

So enjoy, and hopefully this book will remind all of us to be a bit ambitious, even when the odds are stacked against us.

So here's how this is gonna work...

2008-12-29T12:09:00.005-05:00

Alright. Book writing aside, I've got some 300-500 word spit-ups that I want you all to read. ("You all" being the four people that read this.)

They're short, kinda funny, and a bit random, which is what the idea is for my writings. I never really tie anything together, I more or less throw it all together and let you decide.

So starting soon I will throw up onto my blog a few of the little tidbits I've been working with. Feel free to critique, berate, and demolish them. I worked quickly on them, without much editing or polishing... like I said before, they're a spit-up of words onto a page.

So for first I will give you the introduction. Or as least what I feel the introduction to a book written by me would look like. And then after that some of the quick writings.

Enjoy them, and your New Year.

PS- From now on I will be changing the sub-heading underneath "Learning is Misunderestimated" title every once in a while. If you have a suggestion for a good heading, feel free to let me know.

Charlie Brown's Christmas Ain't Got Nothin' On Me.

2008-12-23T15:34:00.003-05:00

WARNING: Blog title may never have anything to do with blog content. (Just thought I'd let ya know.)

So we're back to reality, oops there goes gravity and there ends my reference to Eminem.

It's Christmas time, or holiday time, or whatever else you might want to call it. I've done my pre-Christmas napping, the decorating of the tree, the days spent in pajamas with no purpose or direction. That is, you know, truly the college Christmas.

I had the jones to write some sort of short novel the other day. 300-500 word stories weaved together with nothing, sort of like a blogged book of everything and anything. Obviously, like most whims, it went very whimsically, writing three short inserts rather quickly, then remember finals week and having to write actual papers that were due in the future. So for now, my never-to-be-finished book of nothing that vaguely resembled my two year blog about nothing will sit in nothingness and cease to exist, therefore making it nothing.

Oh well. You win some, you lose some.

Now to steal some fudge.

Enjoy Faith Hill's X-Mas Special, and all the incessant CBS ad's that come with it.

All The President's Men

2008-12-05T16:27:00.001-05:00

New post from my News I blog:

"I've been watching a lot of Journalism-themed movies recently, and it's been interesting to see how journalists are portrayed in all of them. There's movies like "The Paper" that sort of lampoon the whole process, and more serious stuff like "Absence of Malice", which has a healthy dose of Paul Newman.

And then there's my two favorite- "All the President's Men" and "Goodnight and Good luck".

We've all just seen "All the President's Men", which is a great view into the ways journalists research stories and get information.

I like "Goodnight and Good luck" because it has a certain aspect to it that still applies to today. The idea of standing up against big politicians and not being afraid to say they are wrong is something that I think we miss a lot of in today's media. The obvious example would be the lack of dissent towards the Iraq war, where barely any evidence was shown to prove the connections needed to invade. It is similar to the closed envelope evidence used often by McCarthy to charge government officials and anyone else with being Communist.

"Goodnight and Good luck" may depict journalists of a different era, but its message still rings true today. And that is why it is not only my favorite movie about journalism, but one of my favorite movies as well."

Enjoy $1 salaries and shooting yourself in the thigh.

WICB on MTVu

2008-11-24T21:37:00.001-05:00

Here's the video from MTVu. I'm in it for a split second towards the end... I hold the trophy up into the air right before my friend Nick kisses it. The time is with about 18 seconds left.

Enjoy.

Drinkability

2008-11-22T01:18:00.002-05:00

There are a few things in college that often get overlooked; take classes, quiet hours, and healthy eating habits for example. Another thing that gets overlooked is the ever-important liquor carrier of choice. College students all have a preferred method of getting alcohol across campus easily and discreetly, but did you know that you could arbitrarily break down those preferred methods and fill 600 words?

Let’s indulge…

A Flask

Classy and a bit old school, the flask says “Hey, I plan on drinking in an organized fashion this evening.” Downsides? The possibility of not screwing the cap on enough and spilling all over the place. Also the possibility of just losing the little cap in general. In essence, small twist-cap lids can really backfire. Extra points if the chosen flask is engraved, covered in some sort of animal fur, or carried in the inside-front coat chest pocket.

A Nalgene

Big enough for heavyweights, and hip enough for everyone else, the nalgene is a solid choice thanks to its adventurous and sustainable status. Who doesn’t like getting crunk and reusing a container all at the same time? Another plus, the see-through plastic allows the user to see how much is left until closing time. On the flip side, the wide-mouth could get dicey after the user has become a bit “happy”.

A Sigg bottle

The new kid on the block, Sigg bottles have quickly become the new “cool beverage carrier” of college campuses. The only problems: a) You can’t tell how much alcohol you have left due to the weight of the bottle itself and its non-clear exterior; b) sometimes the designs on Sigg bottles look plain stupid. A solid choice if trying to make it seem like you’ve drank more than you have, or if you are drinking something you don’t want others to know about, or if even you don’t want to know what your sippin’ down.

A Sports Bottle

The push-top is so old school that it’s almost trendy again. The trusty cap ensures you control the drinking speed, as well as makes a cool sound when you open and close it. Good for people who like to announce their need to take another sip, or if you have to go straight from sports practice to a “social” event. Be wary, however, of dropping the bottle, for it can pop open on its own, causing significant spillage, and a significant loss of drinkage.

A Water Bottle

The choice of champions, the recycled water bottle trick never fails. It doesn’t matter what color the drink in the bottle is, if the plastic wrap says Aquafina no one’s going to argue. Plus, the pure availability and simplicity of this choice is a force to be reckoned with. Be sure to clean the bottle properly afterwards, however, or you might be surprised of how good you feel in the middle of your math lecture the next day.

The Original Bottle

Oh, so you want to be bad ass, huh? Well, you go ahead and carry around that handle of Bacardi, you bad ass you. Just wait until you get 50 people trying to mooch some, then we’ll see who’s cool. In fact, not only is this a terrible choice because people might think you are willing to share, people are also going to think you’re an alcoholic. And since we all know you can’t be diagnosed with alcoholism until after college graduation, this option is out the window.

So which choice is best? All have their merits, and all have their flaws. The truth is that in the end the container doesn’t matter; it’s what’s in the container that counts.

(Was this entire column just a thinly veiled metaphor about people? I’ll let you be the judge. But yes, yes it was.)

Enjoy Thanksgiving break and Christmas Creep.

WICB Wins the Woodie- The Media Of It All

2008-11-17T10:24:00.001-05:00

Hop on over to my other blog to check out a video about ICB winning the Woodie Award.

Click here.

Enjoy.

Got Wood?

2008-09-30T20:50:00.003-04:00

WICB might if you help us win the MTVu award for Best College Radio Station!

You can vote online right now at wicb.org/mtvu and you can vote as much as you want all week!

If we win this vote, we will be pitted against the top stations from other regions of the country in a few weeks.

Vote often! You don't even need to move your mouse.

Also, new post on the other blog. Check it out on the right hand side.

Dear Clay Aiken...

2008-09-24T16:56:00.003-04:00

So by now I'm sure you've all heard the big news... no, not the McCain thing... Clay Aiken? No one? Remember him? He was the fly on the wall guy, the American Idol dude with Ruben. Ring a bell? Still no? Oh well.

Basically, he just came out of the closet. Why is this big news? I'm not sure. But apparently it is, which leads me to this NEVER BEFORE PRINTED column that I wrote Tuesday, November 28th... of 2006! Yes, that's right, I predicted almost two full years in advance! So here, in its unedited glory, is my unprinted 2006 column entitled "Dear Clay Aiken":

Dear Clay Aiken,
It’s over, man. The jig is up. Seriously, it’s time to let it go. Everyone’s been thinking it for a while now, especially after you got that makeover. But then you went on Regis and Kelly to fill in for Regis, and a funny thing happened on the way to stardom: you looked more like a lady than Kelly did.
We’ve had a good ride, the public and you. You did that whole American Idol show, and lost, but we still embraced you and supported your debut album. (Although I never did understand why you wanted to be a fly on my wall. I mean, flies die in 24 hours. That’s a little bit shorter than the average human lifespan, so maybe you should have thought that one through.) But even when you did make odd lyrical decisions or hit high notes that even Madonna hasn't tried, we let it slide, shrugged our collective shoulders, and moved on.
Eventually we figured you’d get it, Clay. We thought you’d give up and let us in on your not-so-secret secret. But you didn’t, and I have to tell you, that hurt, bud. It really did. The American people have been trusted with worse subjects before, like the fact that OJ did it, or that Jesus might not actually be the image on that piece of toast. But we have always come back to defend those we love, and boy did we love you, Clay.
It isn’t like you’d be the first. There have been plenty in recent months. I don’t know if you heard, but some internet blogger dude has been dropping names like he was Snoop Dogg. There was Doogie Houser, and then the N*SYNC-er, (although that one didn’t surprise me because I’ve always held the position that all boy banders are like that.) Are you waiting for this internet commando to announce your name too? Because he won’t; in fact, he, like the rest of society, thought you gave it up months ago.
There is a distinct possibility that you would lose some sponsors, some fans, and some stalkers, but that can all come back with time. Look at the Dixie Chicks; they insulted the President and were grilled over an open fire for months by the South. Now they’re back on top and better than ever. Some even consider their speaking miss-hap to be a career-saving act of idiocy. (Idiocy to the South, not to me. I agreed with them and still do.)
I hear that there is a strong sense of relief when something of this weight is lifted off the chest. Your mind will feel free; your heart will feel aflutter … and other clichés that describe my point. Basically, I just feel, well, we just feel that you’ve crossed the line. How do we know? I don’t know about the rest of the country, but if you guest-starred on an episode of Queer Eye; I wouldn’t know who was making over whom. I mean, it’s a rough sell, but really, come on, seriously, give it up.
It probably would have been wise of you to let us in from the start. Now we just feel lost, confused, and generally peeved that you haven’t made any effort to let it out. On the list of celebrities that are perpetually easy to make fun of, you’re a solid five hitter behind Mel, Tom, Paris and Britney. In other words Clay, let it out. Scream it from the rooftops, announce it on television, and get the front page of People. Well, actually, maybe page 5 or 6; they thought you’d given it up already too. But no matter what Mr. Aiken, always remember this: Your life has become a box of chocolates. We know exactly what’s going on because of what the package looks like.

What is amazing is that he did, in fact, get the front cover of People magazine this week and go on television to discuss it. Boy, am I good or what?

Enjoy McCain's "suspended campaign" and Friday's one man debate.

I'm awake for the 3 AM phone call.

2008-09-11T04:11:00.004-04:00

Since Hillary won't be answering any red phones early in the morning, I figured I'd do it for her. Hence the 4-6 AM overnight shift I am currently DJing at WICB.

I know, I know: "Who listens to the radio at 4 AM? Why are you doing this? Did you sleep at all?"

Well, people do listen at 4 AM. Actually, I think they do. I don't really know for sure. I wish we had a way to know, like a map of our radio tower's range that lit up to show where people were listening. As creepy as that'd be to know exactly where our listeners were, I still think it'd be pretty cool.

You know, on second thought, I'd rather not know how many people are listening. At least this way there's that relative unknown factor, which kind of adds to the excitement.

Anyways, apologies for a lack of posts. I've been super busy. Plus, I'm now being forced to cheat on this blog with another one for my News Reporting and Writing I class. The link is robengelsman.blogspot.com if you would like to enjoy my thoughts on media for the next 3-4 months.

Election coverage is underway, and it kicked off with a bang on Sunday night with two pretty cool interviews. First, Paloma Capanna, a democrat running for state senate, came in to the studio and had a great interview. Then later on in the show, US Congressional candidate George Phillips called in and we had a nice conversation.

There is so much to talk about with all of these potential public servants, which makes it hard for us at ICB to choose what to ask. Usually I let the candidate/incumbent lead the conversation, and I try to pepper in comments and/or questions once in a while. Also, my producer Tucker will give me some questions with instant messenger during the interviews, and I try to get those in the conversation as well.

We've built a website for the elections, and it's going to launch on Monday, the 15th. It's pretty cool, and after the 15th you can see it at wicb.org/elections. I like it a lot.

If you want to podcast ICB Sunday, you can search WICB in the iTunes store, or follow the links on the election website.

And now, back to the late night DJing.

Enjoy Sarah Palin's humorous attempts at calling herself a reformer, and Matt Damon's anger.

Too many choices...

2008-08-18T21:20:00.003-04:00

So much to do, so little time to do it in.

Or the ever popular inverse...

So little to do, yet so much time to do nothing in.

Life tends to be a little bit of both, huh? Right now, I'm in a 48 hour flux here at Ithaca where I am just adjusting to being back in a dorm. But tomorrow night, I go back to gogogo... no, I'm not dancing at a "special" gentelmen's restaurant downtown, I mean back to the "so much, so little".

The election coverage is coming together. We're going to try to design a website to go with the coverage, in an attempt to... well, I'm not really sure yet. What I do know is that having a website would be pretty badass, and would allow us to be at least a bit more interactive in the news department. So that's the answer I'll go with for now.

The campus is slowly filling up, with extra students arriving daily for the seemingly unending training sessions that go on around here. Apparently there was a dining services girl here who had to move in a week early to go to one three hour meeting. Bummer. Others are training for five or six things, jumping from place to place like jack rabbits on crack.

(Have I mentioned I like writing a blog? Because I do. Especially for instances like when the "jack rabbit on crack" analogy would have been totally eliminated from a column of mine.)

Anyways, it's good to be back, and expect me to post more now that my insane summer has come to a close. I finished the full length Bahamas video, and it's dope, but it's rather massive in length, so I'll hold off on posting it here for a while.

Enjoy moving in, and the anxious feeling in your stomach at the thought of another year.

Sorry for the delay...

2008-08-07T00:33:00.003-04:00

I know it's been a while, and I apologize for that. I've been busy, Ithaca, to the Bahamas for a mission trip, then back to Yardley... then tomorrow I leave for Minnesota for 10 days then back to Ithaca. So needless to say, (even though I've already said it), I've been busy.

Below is a look at my Bahamas Mission Trip. I took about 6 hours of video but was able to cut it down to an 8 minute version to be shown during both church services on Sunday the 10th. For those who were on the trip, I am currently working on a supremely epic version, which looks like it will in fact be pretty epic. I just finished the enlarged introduction for it, and let's just say it's intense.

I know I'm no editing or taping whiz, this was all shot with my little 300 dollar Canon camera and edited with the old version of iMovie, so don't expect wonders. (You may ask, why the old iMovie? Because I don't like the new version in Leopard. Plus, I know how to use the old one, so I think familiarity helps a bit.)

So as I continue to stall you from watching this, just know that I am working on tons for IC this fall. Some debates, some interviews, and some awesomeness are all on the way. Also, there is a magazine that Ithaca College sends to prospective students called Fuse, and they interviewed me a few weeks ago. The piece should be published online sometime soon, and it will possibly show up in the print version of the magazine this fall.

I've gotten a chance to read the final draft, and it's pretty weird to see yourself talked about, especially since I'm a journalism major. I feel like I should be the one asking questions. Oh well.

Enjoy.

Fame (Fame!)

2008-07-14T11:55:00.002-04:00

Was at the CD release party for Ithaca legends the Sim Redmond Band on Friday night. IY opened strong and Sim played two full sets... all in all a four plus hour concert. I love my job.

Last week at Ithaca for the summer... so here's the schedule: DJ/News/Sports 2-6 PM Today, Monday, News/Sports/DJ Tuesday 6-10 am, News/Sports Weds. 6:45, 7:45, 8:45, 3:45, 4:45, 5:45; DJing live from Grassroots Festival 6-10 PM Thursday, Morning Drive DJ 6-10 am Friday.

Lots to do, and so little time to do it in.

The Fitness Fiasco

2008-07-10T18:59:00.003-04:00

Orientation has started here at Ithaca, and we at the radio station have been setting up shop at the information session advertising out awesomeness as the #4 college radio station in the nation. It’s weird to sit at the table knowing that only a year ago I was standing on the other side, all wide eyed and bushy-tailed, looking for what I thought would be the best activities for me in college.

But a funny thing has happened in that year, and I feel that I should impart my wisdom on all of you youngin’s reading this: I am currently involved in absolutely nothing that I thought I would be in college.

Nada.

Nien.

Nunca.

Quite literally none.

But the point here is that that isn’t a bad thing, at all. In fact, I’m happy I’ve found different and new interests and diversified my activities and groups. You see, the key is to be open-minded and allow yourself to experience anything and everything. Obviously I’m not saying to go do something dumb and get arrested; I’m just saying that you never know until you try.

I wish I had a brilliant segway into some really life altering story here, but I don’t, so we’ll just move on. (Apparently my new style is to start my columns with inspirational/motivational speech. Which brings me to a funny story: My roommate, when he was in first grade, wanted to be a motivational speaker. No lie. The kid couldn’t spell motivation but he wanted to give it to people. And now he’s an orientation leader. It’s nice to see how these things work out sometimes.)

Anyways, a little birdie came to me the other day and told me I needed to get into shape. After thinking about it for a good while, I agreed with the bird, which made me immediately regret feeding it that rice.

I’ve never been a big fan of the workout. I used to have sports to lean on, but now I just lack motivation. Running on a treadmill or a track just doesn’t have that special quality so many people say it gives them.

In fact, with no offense to those who do run, I see running a track like the NASCAR of feet. You run, and you turn left. Yes, it is cool to see people run fast, but it isn’t going to be a ratings boom on NBC anytime soon.

“This week on LET’S RUN, we watch people… err … run!”

Yea, okay.

Also, the hurdles have lacked a purpose for me that I will mention while on this track tangent. I feel like hurdles don’t really prepare you for much in life. Football makes you tough, soccer makes you agile, hurdles make you able to hop fences when running from the cops. Is that really what we want to be teaching the youth of America? (On second thought, don’t answer that.)

So the gym is my kryptonite. I just feel awkward there. Intimidated too. I mean, I’m no slouch, but I’m not pumpin’ creatine shakes left and right either. So the last time I stepped into a gym, it was because I was bored. Not because I wanted to work out, but because I was bored. Twisted motivation, huh?

What is it about a gym that bugs me so much? Well, I haven’t the slightest idea. But I know for a fact that I’m not the only one around here that feels this way. Ithaca is to stairs like the war in Iraq is to WMD’s: you can’t have one without the other. (1…2…3… Is this thing on?) There are so many stairs in Ithaca that you’d have to try to be lazy. You can’t avoid them. And if you do, you’re walking up a steeply inclined hill, which is basically just as good of a workout.

So maybe, just maybe, I’ve found a place where I can accidentally be healthy by just going about my daily routine. And if that’s true, than the gym is going to have to find someone else to lure into its sweat-haven.

Enjoy your thigh master, and that Chuck Norris fitness ad with Christie Brinkley.

(By the way, this column is apparently written at a 5.6 grade level. It’s okay to be embarrassed that you just enjoyed reading it. Next time I’ll shoot for Hop on Pop leveled writing… in other words, I’ll try to raise the bar.)

Sing It!

2008-07-08T20:21:00.003-04:00

Sometimes nothing can personify a feeling like a song. It's hard to think up words when you are shocked, or dismayed, sad, or thrilled. But the notes and the harmonies, they seem to do a pretty good job of taking care of those feelings for us.

Obviously, not all songs are good, and not everyone likes the same artist, but everyone has their niche, and in that niche they find the passion that drives them to do what they do.

My musical taste is probably considered eclectic; from Yo-Yo Ma to U2, from James Brown to the Ray Brown Trio. I have around 6,000 songs on my iTunes... thanks to ripping music at the radio station. (Shh... don't mention that one to the FCC or FBI or pretty much anyone. Ever.) And in those 6,000 tunes are three artists that I can count on: Dave Matthews, Mike Doughty, and Jamie Cullum.

Yes, I'm a Dave head. I loves me some good DMB jams and some sweet acoustic accompaniments from Tim Reynolds. But it's his lyrics that continue to be inspiring. Even if you haven't listened to him before, check out his lyrics, you'll be amazed at how deep they are and inspiring they can be.

Having now seen Mike Doughty live, I can't stop listening to his music. He, in fact, has the most played song on my iTunes. Called "Looking at the World from the Bottom of a Well", you might recognize it from it's appearance on the Grey's Anatomy soundtrack. The song is simple, easy to sing along to, but most importantly, it's got heart. The video is terrific; Doughty laying on a busy city street watching the world go by. That's the kind of stuff that good tunes are made of.

Jamie Cullum is a rock-star stuck in a talented pianist's body. And what a small body it is. The guy's like 5 foot 2 on a good day, but he still brings it with his jazz/pop/light rock fusion that is oh so good. Plus, his covers are amazing, and he is extremely high energy.

So check out these three artists and I guarantee you'll like at least one of them. It's hard to say which is my favorite, but as a threesome, they cannot be beat.

Radio schedule this week: Morning drive Wednesday 6-10 am, News/Sports Thursday 3:45, 4:45, 5:45, News/Sports Friday 6:45, 7:45 and 8:45, and Jazz on Friday from 12-2 pm. It's my first time doing jazz and it should be fun, I'll be bustin' out my favorite tracks, and I'd bet there's a Jamie track in there somewhere.

Yea, I know my column wasn't in reality last week. Maybe this week. I really couldn't tell ya.

Enjoy music, because it is the essence of life.

Takin' Care of Business... Alright!

2008-07-01T10:15:00.003-04:00

Hey gang. I took a light load this week because I've got some visitors in town and I wanted a little time to relax. I will be DJing and doing News/Sports tomorrow morning (Wednesday) from 6-10 am. Then on Thursday and Friday afternoon I will be doing News/Sports at 3:45, 4:45, and 5:45. Inserting ways to hear me...

As usual, if you are in the Ithaca area, WICB is on 91.7 FM. If you aren't one of the 250,000 people in our tower's range, you can hit up wicb.org online, click on listen live, and follow the instructions. If you use iTunes and have listened before, the stream is actually saved in your iTunes and you can listen that way.

...and moving on. I know I said there would be a post last week and there wasn't. Well, I grew rather fond of the post and sent it in to Editor Andy to throw in reality this week. If it's there, I'll post a link here. If it isn't there, I'll post the column here. Either way, you will get to thoroughly enjoy my hilarity.

I have been working pretty much non-stop at WICB this past week, but a lot of it has been off-air work leading up to this fall's election. There are 6 races up for grabs in Tompkins County: 2 US Congress seats, 1 State Assembly Seat, 3 NY Senate Seats. So that's a lot of candidates. I've been tracking them down and contacting them, and am pleased to say that I have been speaking to some of them personally.

It is pretty darn cool for your cell phone to ring and the person on the other line says, "Hi, is this Rob Engelsman? I'm Blanketedy McBlankBlank and I'm running for US Congress. I wanted to return your call personally."

Like I said, it's pretty cool.

We are at the least going to be interviewing all of these candidates on my show ICB Sunday in the fall. (For those of you new to this beat, I'm the news director at WICB.) And at the most, we are going to broadcast live audience debates between candidates from somewhere in Ithaca, preferably at IC. That sort of event, a debate between a current US congressman and his opponent, would be great PR for the station, for Ithaca College, and yea, for me too. So I hope that all goes well and that it can get put together.

Enjoy the 4th, fireworks, and BBQ.

DJ Schedule

2008-06-23T19:27:00.002-04:00

Hey y'all. As usual, if you are in the Ithaca area, WICB is on 91.7 FM. If you aren't one of the 250,000 people in our tower's range, you can hit up wicb.org online, click on listen live, and follow the instructions. If you use iTunes and have listened before, the stream is actually saved in your iTunes and you can listen that way.

My schedule is as follows: News/Sports tomorrow afternoon (Tuesday) at 3:45, 4:45, and 5:45. News/Sports Wednesday morning at 6:45, 7:45 and 8:45. DJing and News/Sports on Thursday morning from 6-10 am. DJ and News/Sports from 2-4 pm Friday, as well as News/Sports at 5:45 pm. And finally, DJing 6-8 pm on Sunday.

For all of those who missed it, we broadcast live concerts from Ithaca Festival from around 4-10:30 yesterday afternoon/night. I was, for better or worse, board operating, and sitting in the studio from 3 until 10:30 straight. As well as board operating, I also DJed local music in between bands, which included a nearly two hour stint from 6:30 or so until 8:15, which was interesting to say the least. On the bright side, I learned a heckuva lot about local music this weekend, which was pretty cool.

Expect a full post later tonight or tomorrow.

Back to reality

2008-06-19T12:42:00.003-04:00

Hey all, I have made a triumphant return to the reality section of the Bucks County Courier Times today. I'm in the same spot as I used to be, inner cover, far right, and my editor Andy was even kind enough to put in a link to this here blog. (Go Andy!) If you aren't in range of the BCCT, check out this link: http://www.phillyburbs.com/pb-dyn/news/266-06192008-1551396.html.

This is the first of what I hope to be multiple summer columns this year. I've missed writing a lot and there's definitely plenty for me to talk about, so the time is right to start taking up inches in real ink once again.

Don't worry, I won't forget about all of you here. I'll continue to post at least once a week, and update my DJ schedule while I'm here at Ithaca.

Enjoy Portugal vs. Germany and Cindy McCain's trip to Vietnam.

Monday Schedule

2008-06-16T22:00:00.002-04:00

Hey all, here's the DJ schedule for the week. As usual, if you are in the Ithaca area, WICB is on 91.7 FM. If you aren't one of the 250,000 people in our tower's range, you can hit up wicb.org online, click on listen live, and follow the instructions. If you use iTunes and have listened before, the stream is actually saved in your iTunes and you can listen that way.

I will be DJing and doing news and sports tomorrow (Tuesday) morning from 6-10 am. Next after that is News/Sports on Weds. afternoon, followed by News/Sports Thursday morning, DJing Friday morning 6-10, and News and Sports on Friday afternoon. I will also be assisting with coverage of Ithaca Fest this weekend, so I may turn up on air sometime Saturday or Sunday as well.

That's all for now, expect a full post soon.

DJing Diary

2008-06-14T15:12:00.007-04:00

Alright, I'm DJing for 2 hours today. Here's my running diary...

3:12- Not a ton going on today at the studio. There was a live remote from a dairy festival earlier, but it was a bit out of place for us modern rockers. Oh well. Next up is a new song from the Ting Tings, and it is guaranteed to be stuck in my head for the next four to five hours.

3:15- I don't necessarily like all the music we play, because a lot of it is a bit too Indie for me. But this song is a British rocker chick, and she's hot, so I'll let it go. It's a good beat, although the video is a bit weird. If you're interested, the song is called "That's Not My Name."

3:16- I've been watching a lot of Euro 2008, and my favorite match so far was the France v. Netherlands match yesterday. If you're a fan of soccer, go to espn360.com and pull up the archives and watch it, because it was an insanely intense game. Also, lots of great goals, tackles, and saves.

3:17- I believe this diary will make it clear that DJing is a very slow job. Yea, it's fun, but slow. Lots of hurry up and wait, because you talk, play 12 minutes of music, then talk again. And now that it's all computerized, there's even less work to do. But I'm not complaining, this is a nice summer job that I would love to do anytime.

3:23- This new Flight of the Conchords stuff is great. We play Business Time, and it's a really smart kind of funny, you know the complete opposite of my humor, which is more of a straight up awkward sort of humor.

3:24- I've decided the British accents of the guys from Flight of the Conchords make their stuff a bajillion times funnier. I've been practicing my British accent, and it isn't too shabby...

3:26- I forgot I had to talk there, sorry. Anyways, I can pull a decent Sean Connery, but I really need to perfect my regular British and/or Scottish accent. I feel that my semester abroad that I am planning in Edinburgh for a few years will help.

3:30- Rocking to some Gorillaz right now. One thing I love about this station is how eclectic the music we play is. I've learned so much about bands in only a year, and I've also ripped CDs out the wazoo. I have nearly 35 gigs of music now on my iTunes, or about 5400 songs. Yes, it is true that 7 of those gigs are Dave Matthews, but other than that its rock, funk, jazz, and pretty much anything else you could think of. I even have 51 children's theme songs, like Doug, Rugrats, and such, on my iTunes. I bust them out when I want to feel young again, or when I'm luring little children into my ice cream truck.

3:31- Kidding.

3:32- Seriously, I was kidding.

3:35- I just managed to tie together Flight of the Conchords, Stone Temple Pilots, Guitar Hero, technology, and blogs, all into one two minute talkset. If that isn't talent, well then I don't really know what is.

3:37- Weezer's Pork and Beans is a pretty good new tune as well. They're so incredibly nerdy, but its not bad to listen to. They also are good with the pop culture references. For example, this song has a line about Timbaland and his ability to "top the charts" and how Weezer should follow hit to "perfect the art". So there's definitely some clever stuff going on there.

3:39- I'm becoming a bigger and bigger fan of Beck. His stuff is extremely all over the board, but in a really good way. A friend of mine is going to use Black Tambourine as an opener in her Senior Thesis film, and its got this great driving beat to it that I love to groove to. I might actually get to go play the drums after I DJ down at a friend's here in Ithaca, which would be amazing because I'm not allowed to have a set on campus. So let's hope that happens, because then maybe I won't be so jittery all the time.

3:44- CREEPY CALLER!!!!!!!

3:45- Oy. Ithaca is great because people really care about the schools here and the music scene, but some people need to not call the station ALL the time. One guy, his name is Keith, is completely off his rocker, and we have his number written down so you can tell when he pops up on caller ID. Sometimes he's fun to talk to, other times not so much. There's a second guy who's very slow to speak and very contemplative, and he just called. He asked me what we will call modern rock when it isn't modern anymore, then ended up talking about MoTown Records somehow. I just sat and listened, then asked to go so I could talk on air. At least I have a way to get out of those conversations.

3:50- Seriously, that thing before, about the kids, I was joking. Please don't call Dateline NBC.

3:54- Almost done an hour of the shift... what fun will come in the second? (I'm actually asking, because I'm not sure yet.)

3:58- Nice, checking out the 4 PM log for the first time, and my man Mike Doughty is on it. Check this guy out, he's awesome. I actually got this song back-added to the station. I gave the CD to the music director and he liked it so he threw it into rotation. Awesome, right?

4:01- After a week back up at Ithaca DJing, I have yet to completely screw up yet. I mean, it's only a matter of time, so I thought I'd recognize the accomplishment of making it 5 days without severely screwing up anything on air or off it. And yes, I am knocking on wood while I type this. Lots and lots of wood knocking going on.

4:02- Yes, I know that sounded sexual. That was the idea. Duh.

4:07- I just had a minor brain fart while talking. It happens a lot to me on air, but as long as you can laugh it off I feel like the listener can appreciate that I'm trying. I mean, I hope they appreciate it. If not, this is just a hugggggeeeee waste of time. Which is an incredibly depressing thought, actually. Let's not mention this again.

4:10- Seriously, check out Mike Doughty. He is amazingly good. He's had some songs on TV, like Grey's Anatomy has played a few of his songs. I caught him in concert in March and he was amazing live as well. If you like acoustic rock, you will love Mike Doughty.

4:11- End shameless plug for favorite artist.

4:15- I've decided I want more friends from back home to listen to me DJ so I can show them what I actually do with my life. If you have any ideas on how I could get the word out there, let me know, because I'm stumped. (Who am I kidding? No one reads this either. Well, maybe like three of you, so thanks for that. Everyone else sucks.. said in a totally non

4:17 -mean way.) (Missed the end of song while I was typing. Had to talk. Whoops.)

4:19- Drop the Phone by Shy Child is another catchy tune. The beat is sick... in a good way, and there's some cowbell action. The best part is that the whole song is about not getting cell phone service, breaking your phone, and needing to get another. Brilliant, really. Just goes to show that you can say anything if there's a good beat in the background. (If there could be sound with this, I'd obviously expand on that concept, unfortunately I cannot. Think rap beat, and my saying things about the European Union's new reform treaty that got rejected by the Irish. Yea, that should do it.)

4:25- Have I mentioned that there is absolutely no one around? It's a little creepy. There are tons of people here during the week in the summer, but all of a sudden Saturday hits and it's a ghost town. I saw a visiting family taking a tour earlier and I felt bad because this quiet, tranquil place is nothing like an actual college campus. I would never want to visit a college when no one was around because the entire vibe is lost. I felt like walking up to the family so they could meet an actual student that is around, but they were headed away from Park, the communications building, so I didn't get a chance to. Oh well. It makes me excited to give tours in the fall, though. Can you believe they're trusting me to impart my Ithaca College wisdom on a bunch of college seniors and their families? Me either.

4:33- Did a talkset about the Phils huge win last night. 20-2 is incredibly impressive, and I felt it deserved to be discussed. However, being in upstate NY, I could practically feel the hate being sent my way through radio units everywhere.

4:40- It's about this time that I finish loading all of my hour's music into the computer to play. We have a system called AudioVault that holds all of our music, so you literally just click and drag it into order. It holds 8 clips, so usually around 40-42 after the hour you can finish loading it up. Now I just talk a few more times and I'm home free.

4:43- Local music is big here at WICB, and a band named IY from Ithaca is pretty good. Their new single, called War on Clocks is decent, it just gets a little irritating after a while. That's the hard part about working at a music venue- you here the same thing over and over and over again. So some stuff I would generally like might get too played out for me, which is a shame. But like I said before, I learn new stuff too, which is nice.

4:50- Next DJ is here, time to start to pack up my stuff. I believe Sonic Planet is up next, some odd world music type of show. Some of our shows here are done by members of the community, and this is one of them.

4:55- Time for the last talk set. Say goodbye and then book it out of the studio. I also like to make a joke as I go out, but sometimes I can't work my way around to a good one and my talk set just ends awkwardly. I guess that's the price you pay for making things up as you go.

4:57- Talkset ended kind of awkwardly, but I recovered with a joke, so it's all even. I am out!

4:59- Enjoy WICB and ice cream trucks. (KIDDING!)

France Rewind

2008-06-12T11:03:00.003-04:00

I am now back up at Ithaca, DJing my way through June and July. I'll post my DJ times here weekly on Mondays, and also continue to remind you how to listen to me online as well.

For this week, I am doing News/Sports updates tomorrow (Friday) afternoon at 3:45, 4:45, and 5:45. I am DJing on Saturday from 3-5 PM.

As usual, if you are in the Ithaca area, WICB is on 91.7 FM. If you aren't one of the 250,000 people in our tower's range, you can hit up wicb.org online, click on listen live, and follow the instructions. If you use iTunes and have listened before, the stream is actually saved in your iTunes and you can listen that way.

Now, let's talk about France, shall we?

France was, well, French. (Buh dum chick!) It was definitely different than my first two stints there, and I'll tell ya why: The first time, I was 2. The second time I was 15, but you really can't enjoy Europe, or France, especially the Burgundy region, unless you can drink.

I'm not saying that because I'm a raging alcoholic, I'm saying it because Burgundy is one of the most revered wine making regions in the entire world. In fact, our tour guide on the trip, Claude aka The French Stallion, has had a winery in his family for like 500 years or something absurd like that. Thirty-two acres of grapes, cellars, and wine, both red and white. (Personally, I was a bigger fan of the white; the red was a little too wooden and oaky for my taste, but some people liked it.) I brought a bottle of the white back for my mom, and fortunately it didn't break in my suitcase or there would have been some major issues.

We visited some TV stations, met some journalists, and some city hall officials, but the trip was really more about the tourism and the people on the trip. We stayed all but 3 days of the trip in Dijon, yes, that of the mustard, which is south east of Paris, and about a 2 hour train ride from Geneva, Switzerland. When Burgundy was its own nation, Dijon was the capitol, and there's some really cool stuff to do there, but unfortunately there wasn't 11 days worth of stuff to do there. By the end of our time in Dijon, we knew the streets, knew some of the people, and knew all the sites. Hell, I could give you a world-class tour of Dijon now.

The real good times were the last three days, when we took a train up to Paris. It was a tourist free-for-all, with all 20 of us splitting into smaller groups and doing our best to hit every spot on the map. (In fact, one group literally got to every picture on their illustrated map of Paris in one day, which was extremely impressive, and no doubt aided by our unlimited Metro cards.) Traveling around was easy enough, and I know it sounds cliche, but after my third trip, my two favorite spots remain the Eiffel Tower and Sacre Couer, which also happen to be the favorite spots of every single other freakin' person visiting Paris.

I remain in awe at the size, the structural integrity, and just the straight bad-ass-idness that is the Eiffel Tower. Here's this giant flippin' structure, just chillin' on the side of the Seine, minding its own business and doing its thing. Pretty darn cool. The night we went up it, to the 2nd floor of 3 possible levels, we got up right as dusk began to fall on the city. We then stayed up as the lights in the city came on, and the light of the world went away. It was simply beautiful; I stood speechless with others for nearly 2 1/2 hours in awe of the entire proceeding. It is moments like that when everything falls away, and if I could use that as my go-to spot for thinking and brainstorming I would. Unfortunately, that would be ridiculously expensive.

I love Sacre Couerf for its view, and for its beauty. It sits on a hill on the side of Paris, and has a view of everything from its gorgeous steps that lead you to the top. It truly is breathtaking in every sense of the word, and I feel that only in the last year or so have I become capable of appreciating such an amazing sight.

So that's a basic sum-up of France. Now I am doing my thing in Ithaca after some short recovery at home. My first morning shift was today, and let's just say I haven't seen 5:20 AM on a clock in a long time. Oh well, I'm sure I will say it was worth it when the paycheck comes.

Enjoy Euro 2008 and my DJing.

What's Your Motto?

2008-06-03T09:41:00.000-04:00

Reprinted from Rob's World:

Lyrics in songs can leave a lasting impression with the listener. Sometimes striking to the core of the heart, simple words in a song can pull you in and never let go. This article was inspired by simple words from a simple song by the popular band 3 Doors Down. In the song “Live for Today”, the chorus goes as follows: “God only knows all the places I’ve been, but I love this life that I’m living in. I won’t look back to regret yesterday, because we’re not handed tomorrow so I'll live for today.”

Those words have become permanently imprinted in my mind, and they spent some time on a slip of paper in my wallet. Those words also got me to thinking. What words impact other people’s lives? And what can be learned from them?

“Everything was meant to be” is the motto of one of my best friends. She says it often, uses it to explain incidents, and uses it to reason with people who claim the world is out to get them. I like this motto because it shows the optimism of the human race. Everything may come crashing down, but the sole thought that this is the way it is supposed to be can calm the nerves and warm the heart.

“Lord, help me to remember that nothing is going to happen to me today that you and I together can't handle.” A strong statement of faith is in this motto, but also a statement of peacefulness at heart. Knowing you aren’t alone can make things a lot easier, especially for teens that may have more quiet or shy tendencies.

“Live every day like it’s your last.” This is a motto similar to mine. The fact is, no one knows when they are going to die, or when life will take a turn in the total wrong direction. Leaving nothing unsaid, nothing undone, and nothing untried is a hard concept to understand, but I think it is well worth the effort.

“Don’t squeeze unless it’s worth the juice” is a more comical spin on a simple principle; don’t do it unless it’ll turn out to be worth it. Obviously a good plan when evaluating any situation, although I’m not sure that Aristotle would approve of this phrase.

What if you “squeeze” and it wasn’t “worth the juice”? Well, “Life goes on”. Mistakes are inevitable. I mean, I make at least 42 a day. Dwelling on the past won’t change it, so why spend time regretting when you can learn from it and move on? Life is too short to waste a lot of time upset about the past. Focus on correcting those mistakes in the future, and you won’t be “squeezing the wrong juice” ever again.

"If you work hard, you'll be rewarded. If you take short-cuts, you'll be cut short." A longer take on a simple concept, this motto preaches the concept of hard work. Personally, I find this to be a perfect motto for athletes who need to remember why they don’t skip out on the workouts in the off season or quit a few hundred feet short of that finish line.

Not unlike music, the words someone speaks can impact one’s life or the choices he/she might make. Everyone has a motto, a credo, words to live by, etc. Over time, I’ve discovered that the main theme of most of these mottos is that life is what you make of it. No one else can make the key decisions for you, and no one else is going to want to clean up the mistakes you make. So ride the horse as long as you can, and if you fall, get right back up. It isn’t always what you want life to be, it’s what you make it out to be. Maybe that’s the best motto of all. “Be”.

Some Questions for the "Kool" One

2008-05-31T09:37:00.000-04:00

Reprinted from Rob's World:

Kraft Food Inc.
3 Lakes Dr.
Northfield, IL 60093

To Whom It May Concern:

As an investigative journalist, I tend to research topics not normally discovered unless uncovered by people like myself. (It makes sense, just think it through.) The other day at lunch, an associate of mine brought up a very interesting question about your famed mascot, the Kool-Aid man. Not to be outdone, I decided to do some research to try to answer the question for her.

I quickly discovered a plethora of information about the Kool-Aid man, such as the fact that he was “born” in 1954 which makes him a wholesome 52 years old. It was also mentioned that he first broke into TV in 1975. Then I discovered that he has his own footprint at Mann’s Chinese Theatre in Hollywood. I also made sure to investigate the Kool-Aid man’s website, where young children are invited into the Kool-Aid man’s home for some fun games and prizes.

As this flow of information overwhelmed me, I decided to also look into your company more thoroughly. I found, for example, that in 2004 you reportedly had 98,000 employees. Applying the 7.5% yearly employee growth rate supplied by Hoover statistics, that means that you now have 113,251.25 employees. (We’ll get to the decimal in a minute.)

Anyways, all of these mini-discoveries still leave some very big holes in my research, so I would like to pose these questions for any/all of you to reply to:

1. The original question that I researched: How does the Kool-Aid man bust through walls without losing any of the Kool-Aid in his pitcher? And how does he cope with jumping into a pool? Does this not make the Kool-Aid extremely diluted and the pool water extremely nasty? Is this pool water a danger for children to be in when playing with the Kool-Aid man?

2. Does the Kool-Aid man have a last name? If not, is his last name “man”? If neither, doesn’t this place him in the league of Bjork and Prince, a league that few have entered and even fewer have succeeded from?

3. Who are the Kool-Aid man’s mother and father?

4. How does the Kool-Aid man look so good at 52?

5. Does the Kool-Aid man have a license for his home to be used for play by thousands of children?

6. How do you have a quarter of an employee?

7. Is the Kool-Aid man included as an employee in your statistics? If he is an employee, how much does the Kool-Aid man get paid?

8. FT Global, (I don’t know who they are either), lists you as #342 on their list of top 500 global companies. Do you give the Kool-Aid man any credit for this ranking and will he be getting a raise (pending your answer to question seven)?

9. Where do you purchase the lifetime lasting ice cubes that keep the Kool-Aid man’s Kool-Aid cold? May I have a sample?

10. Several websites mention that the Kool-Aid man got a makeover in 1994. Was this change funded by Kraft Inc., or was it the Kool-Aid man’s own personal decision to go under the knife?

11. Documents also show that the Kool-Aid man was originally named Pitcher Man. Was Pitcher Man’s name legally changed? And do his old buddies still call him Pitcher?

12. Are you drinking the Kool-Aid?

Yours truly,
Rob Engelsman
Columnist
Bucks County Courier Times

Inspiration is a Funny Thing

2008-05-27T09:32:00.000-04:00

Reprinted from Rob's World:

I feel inspired. You heard me: inspired. The problem is that I’m not quite sure what to be inspired about. This is where you come in, you fantastically lovable reality readers, you. Inspire me. INSPIRE ME. Write me an email and give me a topic to write about. Odds are that I’ll write about it. Give me a funny story to tell. Odds are that I’ll tell it. Give me somewhere fun to visit. Say it with me now: Odds are that I’ll visit it.

I feel inspired. It isn’t that I’ve run out of things to say, (Lord knows that I’ve got plenty of ideas to last until I graduate), it’s just that I feel like getting some more input. Let’s make this an interactive column instead of some talking-head spewing random gibberish at you in 700 word increments once a week. Inspire me to inspire you. That’s the idea here.

I feel inspired. It really doesn’t take much to inspire me. Say, for instance, that someone told me to write about rubber bands. “Easy,” I’d say, as I sat down to write 700 words on how rubber bands are a very effective way to curve a new hat.

Want me to write about my Scottish heritage? “Piece of cake,” I’d say, as I whipped out 700 words on the history of my first name Robertson. (Yes, my first name is Robertson. My full name? Robertson Chamberlain Engelsman. In fact, inspire me to write about Chamberlain, because that’s a good story as well.)

Cows? “No biggie,” I’d moo as I perfectly executed 700 words on how cows are the saviors of society.

Vocabulary? “A cursory notion,” I’d pronounce as I skillfully etched 700 words into a confluence of artistry and wit that hasn’t been seen since the likes of Socrates or Homer.

See what I mean? I’m perfectly inspire-able, so do it. Inspire me. If nothing else, just give me some ridiculous word that you’d like to see me use. For example, I will use the word discombobulated before this column is over. Just watch.

I feel inspired to talk some more. A four letter synonym for inspiration? Idea. Ideas are the foundation of society, so wouldn’t you like to be the foundation of my column? My rock of support and inspiration? It takes two to tango, so inspire me.

I feel inspired. Not “cure HIV” inspired, but inspired enough to stand up and shout, “The muse is upon me!” and then proceed to burp the alphabet. Now that takes inspiration.

I feel inspired. Dang right I do. You know how inspired I am? (How inspired are you, Robertson Chamberlain Engelsman?) I am so inspired, that I won’t even let the fact that a 12 year old girl and a 14 year old boy can get married in Colorado phase me. Now that’s inspired. (But seriously, a 12 and 14 year old? Hah. In an unscientific study of many people, lots say they think that’s ridiculous. You heard me. Lots.)

I feel inspired enough to write a new word. Can you handle the new word? Well, get ready. “Ütterasticazingiculous”. It’s a combination of über and utter and fantastic and amazing and ridiculous. Marrying a 12 and 14 year old? “Well that’s ütterasticazingiculous!” Yes, I know it’s perfect. You know why? Because I’m inspired, that’s why.

(Surprisingly, my new word will only garner 34 points in Scrabble, unless you count the umlaut as a scoring letter from German Scrabble, which ups the point-age to 39. Well, it would be 39, if a Scrabble board were 22 spaces wide, as compared to the normal 15. So it’d be a 39 pointer in multi-lingual, extra-large Scrabble.)

I feel inspired, but the feeling is in its waning moments. Some may look back upon this discourse as a lack of talent, but I see inspiration’s little marks all over it. In 700 words I’ve made social commentary, created a new word, repeated the word “inspire” or a related form of inspire 30 times, and totally discombobulated all of you. (There, I used it.) If that’s not inspiration, well, I don’t know what is. (Except maybe an email or two from you, that’d be pretty inspiring. Just because you’ve walked up to me and said “I’ve thought about writing you” doesn’t mean you’re off the hook. You know who you are…)

Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain

2008-05-23T09:29:00.000-04:00

Reprinted from Rob's World:

America has always been at war with someone or some group of people. While the causes may have differed, these wars have all produced heroes. From George Washington, to Ulysses S. Grant, from Teddy Roosevelt to JFK, countless names have become forever linked to a time and place in the history of the battlefield.

Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain was a professor at Bowdoin College in Maine when he enlisted in the Union Army. He wasn’t actually supposed to join; in fact, he had told Bowdoin that he was going to Europe to study languages.

He was injured six times during the war, had six horses shot from under him and led the heroic charge down Little Round Top at the battle of Gettysburg. (If you have seen the movie, Jeff Daniels plays Chamberlain.) As if ending the war as a Major General wasn’t enough, Chamberlain also was the commander in charge of the receiving of the Confederate Army at the surrender of Appomattox. He later received the Medal of Honor, served as President of Bowdoin College and was Governor of Maine for four one-year terms. Needless to say, the guy was good. Very good. (Did I mention his promotion to Brigadier General came as he lay wounded at Petersburg, the only impromptu, on-the-battlefield promotion that Ulysses S. Grant ever made? Or that despite his wounds he lived until 1914, becoming the last Civil War veteran to die from wounds inflicted during the war? Like I said, this guy was good.)

Two things that Chamberlain did during the war serve as a sort of inspiration to me. While commanding the surrender of the Confederates, he ordered the Union to “carry arms” as the defeated soldiers passed by. “Carry Arms” was a salute of respect, and many historians and soldiers that were present recall Chamberlain’s move one of the more selfless and memorable moments of the Civil War.

The other thing he did that inspires me is a little less serious, but no less admirable. While fighting in a battle called Quaker Road towards the end of the war, Chamberlain found himself disconnected from his brigade and stuck behind enemy lines. As Confederates approached him from all angles, he quickly took stock of the situation. The soldiers began to accost him and attempt to capture him, but Chamberlain had the upper hand. (As I mentioned before, he was a professor at Bowdoin College; what I failed to mention was that he taught linguistic studies and dialects.) Breaking into a thick southern accent, Chamberlain convinced the small band of rebels that he was their superior officer and then promptly marched them straight into the waiting wings of his actual Union brigade.

The brilliance involved in this action, as well as the rest of his long career in public service, have left Chamberlain a permanent fixture in the Civil War textbook and on lists of top characters from that time period. He is a hero of the past, as well as today; a man whose deeds have stood the tests of time.

In a world like today's, we must take solace in the lessons of old heroes. Chamberlain’s ability to attack an enemy while still gaining its respect is a skill that seems to elude the attackers and pursuers of today’s day and age. What we need in this day and age is the type of hero we have lost glimpse of; the defining soldier, the brilliant commander, the mesmerizing politician. These heroes will guide us from the path we are currently on and return us to the glory of the paths we know are tried and true.

Heroes will always be discovered, no matter what the conflict. As the great-great-great grandson of the hero that is Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain, I have come to be inspired by his actions and his ideals. This is one hero that time will never lose sight of.

(If you would like to know more about Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain, let me know, or check out some of his books. He was a fantastic writer; imagine that.)

France Ahoy!

2008-05-17T21:23:00.002-04:00

In less than 48 hours I'll be headed for France, which if I must say so myself, is pretty darn cool. I'm excited for the trip, for what I'm going to get to learn, and other cool things like that.

At the same time, I'm kind of sad. Good friends are graduating from college, I'm not spending a lot of time at home; it's all just a very busy summer.

So I guess the excitement is muted in a sense, but it definitely isn't dampened. I am thrilled to get the opportunity that has been thrown my way, but having been to France before I guess I feel a little of the "been there, done that" delirium. Obviously this trip will be more educational and probably more enjoyable than the others, but there are definitely things on this side of the pond that I would rather be taking care of.

Anyways, to supplement the time I will be gone and probably unable to post, I have pre-scheduled some posts through the beginning of June. Enjoy them.

And for the love of Pete, someone please keep an eye on McCain for me while I'm gone. I swear that guy's just about to keep over any second.

(That's an age joke, if you were wondering. And if you're wondering whether or not I would dignify the end of my column with an age joke, your question has been answered. Yes, yes I will end my column on a cheesy age joke. So there.)

A Passion to Learn, A Passion to Teach

2008-05-14T21:30:00.000-04:00

Reprinted from January 25th, 2007:

I received word on Saturday night that my grandfather, Byron McKinney, will most likely pass away by Wednesday of this week. He has cancer that has spread all over his body after being in remission for 26 years. It isn’t like he led a short life; his 88 years have been quite remarkable and I consider him to be one of the everyday heroes that are often overlooked. Most of this column is in the past tense because it will be printed Thursday, which is after Wednesday. This is not a glorification of who he was, it is how I saw him as a person. And yes, I’m obviously biased.

I’ve only had the pleasure of knowing my grandfather for eighteen years. Of course, I only really remember him the last 12 years, and I only really understood him for the last three or four. Because of this lapse of information, I went online to try and find some new information I didn’t know.

Byron McKinney has a page on imdb.com, a database of anyone that has ever had anything to do with film. I was able to find a list of all the movies he produced thanks to the comprehensive website. I found reading the website to be completely ironic because Byron would have never used the internet to find his own information; if you’ve ever stayed with him, you’d know that all his info came straight from CNN.

I had the pleasure of being my grandfather’s roommate on the cruise of the Baltic Sea my family took this summer and there was rarely a point at which he wasn’t watching the news. He was sharper than a tack with that stuff and he never missed a beat. Even as he aged, the news stayed on the television. The only things that changed were the anchors reading the news and the volume at which he listened to them.

Byron was never a huge producer that worked with massive celebrities. Instead he produced short documentaries that dealt with situations he was passionate about. You may of heard of some of his credits: “Feast of the Gods”, a film about the restoration of the world famous Giovani Bellini painting of the same name; “The Hallowed Hills”, a look at Arlington Cemetery; and “City out of the Wilderness”, a short documentary about the history of Washington, D.C. that was nominated for an Oscar in 1975. His films never jumped into the mainstream, mostly because they were too intelligent for the mainstream. Instead of films for the big picture companies, he did things commissioned by the government or the National Gallery of Art. That is where his passion lied. He didn’t need a big release to be proud of his work, he was proud of his work no matter what.

When Byron was promoted from petty officer to ensign in the Navy in World War II, his friend painted him while he admired his new uniform in the mirror. The painting, entitled “Promotion” for obvious reasons, graced the cover of the phenomenon that was the Saturday Evening Post on July 10th, 1943. The scene is simple, yet meaningful: my grandfather admiring his new ensign uniform in the mirror with his old petty officer getup strewn all around.
In a way, the painting could be a metaphor for his life. He always wanted to do something bigger, better, like producing the first IMAX film to be released in the United States. “To Fly”, which chronicled the history of flight by putting the viewer in the driver’s seat of hot air balloons and fighter planes alike, premiered at the opening of the National Air and Space Museum in Washington on July 1st, 1976. In the last 30 years the film has never left the museum’s screen.

It is disheartening to know that there are few left like Byron. Few that have channels permanently fixed on the news, few that read the newspaper daily, few that have real feelings and passions about the issues, both big and small. But throughout my life I plan on emulating his passion and his drive to do better. I may not have really known my grandfather, but I still want to make him proud.

Goodbye to I-Town... sort of

2008-05-13T00:16:00.003-04:00

So it's officially over. One amazingly quick year in the books at Ithaca and I'm prepared to make my triumphant return home... for six days. Shouldn't be that hard, considering I won't have time to unpack before I leave again.

I'm excited for the little things about home, the dirtiness that is my room, my drumset, my favorite restaurants; the best part is that I can convince the 'rents to pay because I haven't been around.

But there are things past being home I'm excited about. This time next week I'll be over the Atlantic on my way to France with 19 other Park School of Communications students from the Ith. We get to hang in France, learn about European Mass Media and hit up a wine tour or two, all of which is certain to be a good time.

Then it's home again for a few days... like ten I think. Then I'm back to Ithaca and WICB, where I will be doing news, sports and DJ-ing until late July. I'll try to post when I'll be on air here, and also how you could listen to me online, you know, for the one and 2/3 of you who read this. That's right, 2/3 of a person reads this. Which is so much better than 1/2 of a person.

August is still a distant future for me, so we'll avoid thinking that far ahead. But I plan on making the most of my summer, making some dough and relaxing. Besides, what else would I do in the summer? Have an actual job?

Yea, sure, okay. Maybe next summer.

Columns/Future of the Blog

2008-05-06T18:12:00.004-04:00

Obviously it is impossible for me to write as much as I had hoped to write on this page. It isn't paying like other things I do, and I'm still trying to pass college as much as I can.

So I've decided to once in a while repost some of my timeless stories from the reality section. (reality being uncapitalized because we were cool like that).

A lot of my columns for the Courier Times were timely, but a lot weren't as well, and I developed quite a stack of those evergreen columns over my two years on staff. So today, here is my first re-post of a reality classic:

Today’s column is very special because we here at Rob’s World are kicking off a new recurring series called “Know Your Uninhabited Islands”! Yes, you heard me. Learn all you need to know about the islands that no one knows about! Be the star of your next dinner party; answer a question right in Jeopardy; but most importantly, learn something new. Today’s inaugural installment: Clipperton Island.

Clipperton Island has a massive area of 6 kilometers, roughly 12 times the size of The Mall in Washington, DC, but 13 times smaller than anyone cares. 100% of the island being coral, there isn’t much to do on this tropical island of fun. Not much to do unless you like fish! Over 115 species of fish have been identified around Clipperton Island, including the commonly confused Lostus Mywayus and the more demanding Pullus Overus Andaskus Fordirectionus.

Of course, you all must be wondering how in the world Clipperton Island became known as, well, Clipperton Island. (Cricket, cricket). No? Charlie, vamp! Vamp!

Sorry about that; the studio audience lost focus. Where were we? O, right, how Clipperton Island became known as, well, Clipperton Island. It’s simple, really. You see, Magellan discovered it but then Clipperton used it to hide his loot but when France took over it was ashamed and called it “Passion Island” but that name never stuck and it went back to Clipperton Island. (Breathe…) Shall I slow it down for you? Yes? Well here we go, buddy:

In 1521, Ferdinand Magellan, sailor extraordinaire, discovered Clipperton Island. Unfortunately, Ferdinand was not much of a fish lover, so he didn’t stay very long. (Buh dum chick!) The island remained discovered but re-lost for nearly 200 years when Clipperton, apparently a brash, salty pirate, re-discovered the previously re-lost island.

Of course the French, the language of love lovers they are, wanted nothing to do with a brash,
salty pirate like Clipperton when they gained control of the island in 1935. (Don’t bash them; it’s the only thing they won in the 20th century. I’ll also choose not to mention that they originally lost the island to Mexico, whose navy has always been one to behold.) The language of love loving French started calling the island “Ille de la Passion”, or “Passion Island” for those of us who wake up in the morning and have ourselves some Freedom Toast.

So now we find ourselves a bit of controversy when dealing with this small island. Is it Passion Island or Clipperton Island? Did Clipperton hide any treasure? And why would Magellan care about discovering this piece of rock? Well, I have the answer to all of these.

First, the current title recognized by the United States is Clipperton Island. (Mostly because we will say or do anything that puts the French into more of a tizzy.)

Second, it is unknown whether or not Clipperton hid any treasure, but my guess is that he didn’t. How do I know? Consider the following: The island is 100% coral. Coral is hard. Digging into the ground to bury treasure is difficult when the ground is hard. Ergo, there is no treasure on Clipperton Island. (Sorry to burst your bubble.)

Third, it has become apparent through studies of nature and such that at one time, Clipperton/Passion Island was covered in vegetation on top of the coral. This would have no doubt made the island much more attractive to a discoverer like Magellan, who only had so much time to spare while prancing around the world in a boat.

That’s all for today. But here’s a promo for the next installment of “Know Your Uninhabited Islands”:

What do you get when you place an automated meteorological station on an uninhabited volcanic island? Well, other than the location of Dr. Evil’s favorite hiding spot, you get Bouvet Island in the South Atlantic Ocean! Southwest of the Cape of Good Hope in Africa, Bouvet Island is in a location that screams “Claimed by Norway”! At 93% ice, the volcanic island is virtually inaccessible, which is probably why Britain claimed it but then let Norway take it from them. (It’s kind of like that squished sandwich that everyone tries to give away at lunch; just icy and volcanic.) So make sure to look for the story of Bouvet Island next time I get writer’s block.

Connect Four

2008-04-23T10:18:00.001-04:00

I recently participated in the first round of a 64 person, fully bracketed Connect Four tournament. No joke. Some of my friends here at school got 64 people to sign up and play. We were split in regions depending on where we live on campus, and then the games began.

My match was long, and close. In the nearly 20 minutes that we played, it was neck and neck. Unfortunately, I lost with 3 pieces left. Oh well.

Other games have been won in as little as four moves, which, if you were wondering, is exactly how many moves it makes to connect four. Some other games have finished in 5, some in 6, so I take some pride in knowing that I can at least be competitive in a child's game.

The other day there was even a fame malfunction when the latch was not secured tight enough and the pieces all tumbled out in the middle of the game. This prompted a call to the commish, who called for a restart of the game.

And they say people can't do serious things in college.

Enjoy diagonal fours and the Flyers.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

ROB ENGELSMAN FOR PARK SGA SENATOR!

2008-04-14T18:14:00.001-04:00

I have to admit, I've never been one for public office. But today, when the ballots for next year's SGA were released, I was dismayed to see only one person running in the name of Park. I would like to write that wrong, and I jokingly used myself as a write-in. Somehow in the last three hours other people found out about this and started a Facebook group dedicated to the venture of writing me, Rob Engelsman, in as Park SGA Senator. I wholeheartedly accept this feeble attempt, and endorse it as well.

Check out the group: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=14122571566

Enjoy butterfly ballots and pregnant chads.

Let's Catch Up

2008-03-26T22:07:00.003-04:00

Life here has become incredibly busy, with work, non-work, and pretending-to-work consuming my every waking hour. (And most of the unwaking hours as well.) What has become incredibly clear to me is that it is really really hard, no, make that really really really hard to keep track of something like a blog. For that, I apologize, but as well all know, the only readers of this blog come here accidentally or because I told them too, so it isn't like I've got a very demanding readership.

As far as our classic film, now revealed to be titled "The Golden Plunger: One (Half) Year in Clarke 117", production is going along swimmingly. New elements are conceived and worked on daily. In fact, just yesterday we filmed a new segment. It is only 10 seconds long, but it took nearly 2 hours to put together so it must be appreciated.

A debut date for the film has been picked, and it is closer than expected, so we've really got to word hard to finish it up in time for the big premiere. (And by "big", I mean three people will see it. Total. Ever. Depressing? Yes. O well.)

And now moving on to things that actually have a purpose...

MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL PREVIEW

Phils will be good, Yanks will miss the playoffs, and the somebody other than the Sox will win it all. (How's that for concise?)

There isn't really much else to say (a huge lie). Okay, fine, I don't feel like typing everything there is to say. Kevin, Josh and I got up at 6 to watch the first game on Tuesday, and made it through the 5th inning before crashing back to sleep. (Don't tell Josh that we turned it off after he left for class.) It was exciting, and it is always a thrill to see something special like the first pitch of a season. It is even more exciting, in my opinion, to think that potentially millions of other people watched that same moment and felt the same thing while it went on.

In fact, my new goal in life is to be a moment like that. I want millions of people to feel connected because of something I did or had a part of. I know it seems completely impossible, but I'm an optimistically pessimistic guy so we'll see how it goes.

Make sure you're keeping an eye on ICB Sunday, next week we'll probably have an interview with former Democratic presidential candidate Mike Gravel. (He scares me, but he's 79 so I think I could take him.)

Enjoy a few days of sun and the first pitch.

One More Poster Found

2008-03-14T22:23:00.002-04:00

I just received one more movie poster in an anonymous email. Enjoy eating meat on Friday's and fried squid.

-JP Carlson

Movie Title Revealed

2008-03-14T13:21:00.004-04:00

As promised, I have been able to acquire some more information about this top secret movie project. In fact, I was able to get a digital copy of the first poster! Unfortunately, the poster doesn't tell us much, except for the title, but it definitely builds the anticipation.

What could this film possibly be about? A sanitary worker that has King Midas' touch? Doesn't seem to make much sense at all.

Well, I guess this is all the information I will be able to get for now.

Until next time...
Enjoy WordArt and picture effects.

-JP Carlson

Spring Break

2008-03-14T11:53:00.002-04:00

Production on the site of the new RCE Productions/Fish Pictures film has some pretty tight security, but I was able to score an inside look at what's been going on. There's been shooting all across town all week, from downtown East Brookfield, to a cemetery, to a house on Evergreen St., to a lake... the production team has been everywhere. I even heard that there have been some extensive shoots taking place in moving vehicles.

It's safe to say that this movie will no doubt be amazing. The producers have screened pieces for close friends and family, and it appears that it has been received very well by all. Some production dates remain, including multiple days in Ithaca, but the biggest questions left are these:

What is the title of the film?
Who stars in it?
When will it be released?

All of these questions remain to be answered and it doesn't look like they will be anytime soon.

I'll try to sneak back onto the set today and get more information.

For now this is your loyal entertainment reporter signing off.

Enjoy sunny days and that foggy haze.

-JP Carlson

Spring Training

2008-03-02T16:22:00.001-05:00

I am so incredibly excited for baseball season. Last year I followed the Phillies and MLB in general more than I ever have before, so I am thoroughly excited to do so again this year. Thank God for college, where I can actually watch the Wednesday afternoon game on ESPN instead of suffer through classes.

The one thing about baseball that has always escaped my grasp was Spring Training. Yes, all the other sports have a pre-season where there is immense preparation for the upcoming games, but no other sport's warm-up time has more mystique and prestige than baseball's pre-season. In fact, it got me to wondering, what other careers could use a pre-season? Here's a short list:

1. Accountants. Before tax season there could be a whole extra prep process where they calculate fake tax returns that have no bearing on their actual clients. Might save us all some money too.

2. Students. We could take practice exams before the SAT's or something. I mean, it kind of already happens, but we could shutdown schools and do complete training rounds and such for exams.

3. Newspaper Delivery People. This is a big one to me. The people who used to deliver to my driveway were never very accurate or consistent, so I think a week or so of training would be awesome. Can't you imagine a line of bicyclists and (cruddy looking) cars working their way up and down a fake street delivering old copies of the Sacramento Bee or something? Yes, it could be extremely dangerous, but I feel some sort of reality show in the making with this one.

So there you have it, three careers that could use some Spring Training, albeit not in spring. Expect plenty more to come soon, spring break is right around the corner and I sense that there will be plenty of shenanigans.

Enjoy awkward footage of baseball players stretching and your fantasy drafts.

Blogged with Flock

TCAT -Man's Best Annoyance

2008-02-24T12:38:00.001-05:00

"It must be easier to see a movie than this."

My thoughts as my friends Josh, Kevin and I sat on a stationary TCAT bus in Collegetown last night.

The Who: Roomie Kevin, Practical Roomie Josh, and myself, attempting to
meet friend and member of The Official Clarke 117 Not So Motivational
Wall of Fame™ Mike Hibbard with his girlfriend Emily.

The What: New film Vantage Point, playing at 7:45 in the Pyramid Mall movie theater.

The Where: Collegetown, outside of The Nines, where our TCAT was inexplicably stopped.

The Why: Apparently the bus scraped mirrors with a tow truck that was going the other way.

The When: Twenty minutes before the movie was set to begin.

The How: Originally, the bus driver wouldn't let us off the bus. Apparently we were all witnesses to the severe non-accident that had just occurred. Anyways, there's the bus driver, a black woman, and the tow truck driver, a white Larry the Cable Guy kind of fellow, and some cops standing around our bus. (I feel like knowing the race of these people makes that part much more interesting. It definitely did for us onlookers.) Many of the passengers began to rush off, so we followed. Then, using our brains (a very rare occurance for the three of us, trust me), we called a cab, and instead of paying $1.50 each to get to the movie, it ended up being $11.50 total for our cab ride to the theater.

Once at the theater, we bought tickets, and got in line for food. I got in line behind Josh, trusting his line judgment. Boy, was I wrong. The woman at the register was incredibly slow. When she got to me, I ordered a Freeze Frame and a medium popcorn. Carrying both back to me at the same time, she dropped the Freeze Frame (a glorified 7-11 slushi) straight to the floor. It splattered everywhere, catching a few globs on myself and my wallet, which I had out so I could pay. (You couldn't make this up.)

The Result: Finally sitting about two minutes before the movie began. I love how things just work out sometimes.

Oh, by the way, the movie was pretty darn good. Dennis Quaid is such a badass. Kevin predicts that he is the next Chuck Norris, although I say that their brute strength and power prove they were born from the same mother... Mother Nature, that is.

Enjoy spilt beverages and stale movie popcorn.

Oy.

2008-02-21T15:00:00.002-05:00

I almost got hit by a back-hoe the other day.

(Pausing for laughter...)

It was definitely an experience. You see, I was headed over to the radio station for my 6-10 shift, so it was about 5:30 AM. About an inch of fresh powder lay on the ground, and the plows and trucks were out in full force to prep the campus for the day.

Unfortunately for myself, the clean-up crews aren't used to random people trying to get around campus at 5:30 AM. This was proven when a back-hoe came within feet of backing into me while it tried to plow outside the communications school.

I know, the story wasn't as good as you hoped it would be. But hey, the punchline was pretty great, right?

Moving on, I was recording voiceovers for The Screening Room the other day and I had to read the nominees for the top categories of the Oscars this weekend. Some of the names were a bit difficult, and I thought I handled them fairly well.

That was Sunday. Last night was the recording of the show, where I learned from the hosts that I had recorded about three of the names incorrectly, furthering the proof that I really need to learn French. (Damn you, Marion Cotillard with the silent D!)

My suit actually made its first appearance on the show last night. It was being worn by one of the hosts, and it looked smashing with the shirt and tie the host had borrowed from me as well.

I will be posting a new poll about Hillary Clinton soon. Feel free to think of the possibilities...

That's all for now. Enjoy Jon Stewart and the new Mike Doughty CD.

Poor, Poor Roger

2008-02-14T19:30:00.002-05:00

What? No one else feels sorry for him? The poor guy just had to defend himself to Congressmen (and women) about his alleged use of steroids! It looked like he was about to break down and cry! And then, when he read his wife's note, it brought me to tears!

That's what I wasn't thinking this morning. Clemens dug his own grave with all of this by avoiding answering questions and giving the "holier than thou" treatment to everyone all day. Doctors, trained personnel, they all think it's weird that Clemens' butt had an odd swelling on it in Toronto. And then there was the whole nanny thing, the whole Jose Canseco party/BBQ thing, basically we just sat through four hours of nothing topped with more bullcrap.

So what happens now? If I'm Clemens, I avoid eye contact with the FBI and IRS agents that are now opening cases against me. And if I'm a normal member of the public, I start to think about throwing away my Clemens apparel. And if I'm a voting member of the Baseball Writers of America, I don't let Clemens into the Hall of Fame.

It has become apparent that players marked by steroids will not make it into the Hall easily, and Roger Clemens should be among them.

Enjoy more lies and seven year old syringes.

PS- You didn't know your wife took steroids? Really? Have you seen her lately?

Dude, she's in better shape than you've ever been. I mean, she's in better shape than most men have ever been. You not knowing she took steroids is as bad a lie as perjury.... which is what you just commited. So enjoy the investigations, because really man, you brought this on yourself.

Yes, it's Saturday night. Yes, I'm blogging.

2008-02-10T00:06:00.000-05:00

This is most definitely the college life. Even when I'm not hassled or bothered or distracted, I still can't concentrate. Eight trillion little brain movements are going on, and that is far more than I need when trying to write an essay.

A rousing game of Hoopla! was played this evening with myself, and Steph, Kevin and his friend Kate. We dominated, winning in under half the time. Why does this matter to you? It doesn't. At all. But I'm bored, and I can't think of anything else to write about.

Obama cruised tonight. Clinton's camp called it "expected". Funny, it doesn't seem to make much of a difference, Hil. Just because Obama was "expected" to win doesn't make his victories any more impressive, and it certainly doesn't get you extra delegates for guessing his wins correctly. On CNN tonight they were discussing the possibility that Clinton could go the next 3 weeks without a primary win. Although her camp is once again staying positive, saying that it wouldn't phase them or hurt their campaign, I beg to differ. Three weeks without a win is three weeks for Barack to ride the fundraising roller coaster, and three weeks for her to have to defend why she isn't concerned about winning a primary in three weeks. You think her crying was bad? Wait 'til you see how she defends this.

With Edwards out, it seems that the "We Want Radical Change" followers are forming a line behind Obama. It isn't that he wants the radical changes Edwards did, it's more so that he is the different guy, the only chic and upcoming character left. (Unless you count Huckabee, but jumping from Edwards to Huckabee would be like jumping from Australia to Singapore. It just doesn't happen unless your trippin'.)

On the Republican side, Huckabee's win in Kansas is cause for concern. It looks like he also has won Louisiana, which isn't a huge surprise. But the fact that McCain and the Huckster are currently neck and neck in Washington.... that's where it gets interesting. Huckabee can't get enough delegates to lock up the nomination, but he can block McCain from getting enough, which would cause a brockered convention.

I'm not gonna lie to ya folks, I kinda like the Huckster. Sure he's a bit out there in some respects, but he's very personable, and I think the general "he's a good guy" status gets lost in the presidential sauce sometimes. Whoever ends up on the Republican ticket will be a formidable opponent in November, and thank God it won't be Giuliani or Romney.

Enjoy exit polls and the ever-growing staff of CNN's Election Center.

Super Tuesday Morning Quaterback

2008-02-06T14:14:00.000-05:00

Let us ponder for a brief moment the impact of Super Tuesday...

Done pondering? Me too. Basically, I'm completely unimpressed with the whole event, from the results, to the coverage to whoever did Anderson Cooper's hair and left that little piece dangling on his forehead.

So I guess it looks like John McCain with get the Republican nod, much to the chagrin of the far right crazies like Limbaugh. (Insert headline: "McCain Back From The McDead!" here.) In his case, the next step is going to be to choose a VP candidate. Not as easy as some might think, considering that you now must take into effect gun licenses and possible hunting incidents. (Thanks, Dick.) But, I think the more important thing for McCain right now is to actually get the delegates. It isn't actually over yet, and it would do him and his campaign well to remember that.

On the other side of things, we now have ourselves a dead heat of sorts. This election is one that the democrats CAN win, but if the contest between Obama and Clinton goes all the way through to a brokered convention, the entire Republican party will show off its loyalty for all to see right up until November. I'm not saying someone needs to drop out, but something needs to happen. As I wrote in a column about a year ago, this campaign needs its defining moment. Currently I refuse to believe that the defining moment will be Hillary faux-crying... TWICE!... on days before primaries. We need something real and tangible to come out of these candidates, and the time for it to happen is now.

On a side note, no clear winner on Super Tuesday is a huge win for the states that waited to have their primaries until March or April. The longer it gets drawn out, the more attention these states will get as the delegates get harder and harder to come by.

Enjoy Wolf Blitzer and his army of Political Pundits.

MacBeth? More like MacPedro!

2008-02-04T20:16:00.000-05:00

The following picture was given to me in Journalism Research class last Thursday. Our assignment was to use the picture to create a 200 word story. My story is below the picture.

She knew it had to be done. The painfully boring reign of her husband Pedro the Ponderific had to be ended for the sanity of the kingdom. So, as they laid there, she thought of all the times they had had. The good- her sitting around on a couch, her sitting around in a chair, her laying around on a bed. The bad- his blank stares, lack of focus, and terrible impression of Dom DeLuise.
Weighing the options it was made even clearer that this, death by suffocation with a pillow, must be the way to go. It was clean, simple, and it would certainly take care of that snoring problem.
Oh, how long she waited for it to be time. He sat there awake, as did she, for what seemed like endless hours, timeless minutes, breathless seconds. She wondered what he could be thinking of- if Pedro the Ponderific had even completed a single thought in his entire life.
She couldn’t take it anymore; the endless pondering. All he ever did was ponder, ponder, and then ponder some more. She had tried to tell him that the people of the kingdom mocked him and his pondering ways, but now was no time for talk. This night was going to end in murder. (End Scene.)

It turns out that the photo is actually a still taken from Roman Polanski's version of MacBeth, which is extremely ironic. Why? Because I started to write a story about MacBeth until my roommate Kevin told me that it looked more Spanish than Scottish. Jerk.

Enjoy bloody death scenes and Manson murder connections.

"The Big Fantastic Spectacular Event"

2008-02-03T14:10:00.000-05:00

There is nothing I would like more than to sit down in front of a TV tonight and watch the Super Bowl without fearing the commercials. But, I fear the commercials.

It isn't like a bad thing. Usually I like the commercials. There's always some funny car ads, a decently funny beer ad, and almost always a monkey. But what will bother me is all of the ads that refer to the Super Bowl as the "big game".

You may be asking yourself, why do they call it the "big game"? And the answer is straight out of Business 101. The NFL, in its infinite wisdom, has copyrighted the term "Super Bowl". That means no one else wants to pay the NFL to use the term, so everyone avoids it by coming up with really boring alternatives like "The Big Game" or "The Biggest Sunday of the Year". (Obviously the latter isn't true. We all know the biggest Sunday of the year is Easter because we all get candy. Duh.)

So the pain in the commercials on this day does not come from the animal cruelty involved in getting a monkey to dance, or the money wasted on the yearly ad that discusses how much money was just wasted. The pain is in the terribly unexciting ways that commercials describe the game they cannot describe.

In that spirit, I have decided to come up with several new terms that could be used in commercials to describe the "biggest game of the year":

1. The Game.
2. The Super Dee-Duper Bowl.
3. That Game That We All Know We Are Talking About But We Cannot Say Because The NFL Is A Bunch Of Jerks And Wants Money If We Are Going To Call It What We Aren't Calling It. (Also known as TGTWAKWATABWCSBTNFLIABOJAWMIWAGTCIWWACI Bowl for short.)
4. The Fan-friggin-tacular Sporting Event.
5. That Game.
6. "The best excuse to not write that paper I'll get all year" Game.
7. The Money-Sucking, Corporate-Clucking, Tummy-Untucking Spectacular.
8. "The best excuse to not study for that exam I'll get all year" Game.
9. "The last good sporting event until March Madness" Bowl.
10. The final game of the 2007-2008 NFL season that will pit the undefeated New England (Cheating) Patriots against the New York Football Giants.

Don't get mad at me for calling it cheating- I'm a bitter Philadelphian who likes to see other sports cities suffer. As much as it pains me, and as unlikely as it is, I wouldn't mind a Giants upset. But I have a feeling that there won't be many calls of "True Blue" on this day.

Enjoy the fatty foods and antacids.